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Thinking others don't like you...

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 57

Right on Deb!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 57

Hi Kat:

The interesting thing about your example of someone not saying Hi to you is that many times it is a matter of how we interpret what the other person does or doesn't do. When we are depressed it is easy to interpret a response by someone else in a negative light. When we do, and we think about that, then of course one negative thought leads to another, which leads to another, and so on. Many times the other person is perhaps preoccupied with something on their minds and just didn't notice you, or perhaps they were having a bad day, or any number of other possibilities. The interesting thing is that had your mood not been low then perhaps their lack of response never would have even bothered you. Just another way to look at things I guess.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

I totally agree with you Deb!

Normal people are boring

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 102

I use to struggle more with this one when I was younger, but remember it well. I've gotten to the place in my life where I embrace my weirdness and think it's just fine. Let's face it, normal is boring. We weirdies have a lot of character, and a lot of compassion because we have struggled and know how it feels to struggle.

So I say, "Embrace and adore our unique qualities! Take our weird selves out to lunch and for a walk! Give our weird selves a pedicure!"

We all have gifts we bring with us to share with this world. Share those gifts too while your strutting your proud odd selves around. Fall in love with yourselves.

I got the best compliment this morning from my boyfriend. He hugged me and whispered, "you are so unique, and so beautiful."

Here's to being loved for our uniqueness. But we have to start by loving ourselves first.

There's my 2 cents.

deb

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Pixgirl

I've just read a couple of your posts. It sounds like you have a tough time being outside of the house and having to deal with that from family must be very difficult. I know after hearing things for so long, we start to believe and become what others have said we are (does that make sense?) Do you believe you are weird and/or odd? I don't. I think you are unique as we all are. It doesn't make us weird or odd or different or unacceptable just because someone says we are. That is where we have to challenge what are negative beliefs are.....do you buy into what they are telling you and if not, what are some ways you can deal with the situation. If you believe that you are, then those questions that the moderator put below are an awesome thing to help me discern what to do and how to handle those thoughts/beliefs.

I don't know if this helps. I can give you a small example. My mom always told me "pretty girls don't cry". I heard it sooo many times that I started to believe it. So I came to believe if I wanted to be pretty, I shouldn't cry. I never cried in front of people, I always kept those emotions that led to my crying to myself, even in appropriate situations, i.e. funerals. Then one day, I realized that mom didn't show emotions, it made HER feel uncomfortable for ME to show my emotions, so to try to not make her feel uncomfortable she told me this. It was with malice or cruel intent. It was her own defense mechanism.

You may be perceiving them telling you are weird or add, buying into it, and that is what part of this program is about - challenging those beliefs, irregardless of whether they come from within or from others. First you have to recognize them - you've got a jumpstart on that one.

I hope this helps....Like your posts! Look forward to a response.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

all I know is by people making comments like saying I'm weird and stuff... just don't think people can get past that first opinion of me to even consider if they like me... or not. Have some in my family who think I'm odd.. and have called me weird to my face among other things.

..so I have uncomfortable times within my own family

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

I know what you mean about the effort kittykat. It takes alot of energy and concentration and focus to challenge and work through these things. I have those days too. We can just do what we can do. I do know that the days I don't feel like doing it are more infrequent, but still have those days when it is hard to challenge not only that but other negative thoughts and assumptions as well.

Hang in there - we will get there!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Kitty: Yes, I feel that way quite often. I am told by my sons that I read too much into things. I think that they're right and that I've had negative thoughts for so many years that this feeling just comes automatically. Knowing this still doesn't make it any easier to not think in that direction, though. It really takes an effort some days, and there are days when I just don't feel like making an effort. You know what I mean?

But, just feel that you are not alone in feeling this way, and that this feeling is just an assumption on our part and most likely not a true assumption.

Rebbie

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 224

Hello Kat,

There are a few questions you can ask yourself to challenge these thoughts. Next time you think someone does not like you try asking yourself these questions :

1. Is it "true"?
2. How do I know it’s true?
3. Is it 100% true? (remember something that is 75% or 99% true is
not 100% true)
4. What's the evidence for it being true?
5. What’s the evidence against it being true?
6. Has it ever happened before?
7. What's different now?
8. If it were true, how bad would it really be?
9. What's the worst thing that could happen?

10. If the worst thing happened, how bad would it really be?

Members, how do you challenge negative thoughts?

Let us know how you are doing.

Luciana, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

This came out of the program sessions...I realized that something that really effects my mood in a bad way is thinkin that other people don't like me. I often worry that people don't like when they do something such as not say hi to me int he mornings at work, or when someone doesn't smile at me...

Does anyone else experience this? How do you deal with it?

Kat

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