Ok, I have thought about it and have decided to wait a bit longer before I pay the fees. I got another notice about the deferral with a Sept. date. I really don't want to give in to my illogical anxiety, reinforcing it. I'll see how long I can hold out until I can't stand it anymore.  LOL!  Right now, I feel ok with the decision. I hope it holds.

Hi Ashley,
 
I think the reason this is so frustrating for me is that I did this last year too (the first year I used financial aid). I panicked about losing my classes, so even though I had a deferral, I paid the fees early anyway to alleviate my fear. I am only repeating it again this summer. I am guessing that I will be fighting this anxiety each time I register for classes (spring and fall).

I think that by paying the fees early, I am only reinforcing the problem, giving in to the anxiety. But I just feel so much better, so much relief, after I have my classes locked in, that I can't seem to stop the compulsive early payments.
 
I guess the best thing to do would be to force myself to wait out the payment deferral, but I really like to be able to relax. I would have to suffer for 2-3 months with this anxiety 2 times a year.
 
I am really not sure how I could apply this to the program. May negative thoughts or core beliefs?  I am not on those sections yet though. I am still on the thought records (just started last night). I guess I will write this down as a thought too.
 
I guess I need to learn to "trust" the institution, the financial aid office, the admissions office, etc at the university, but I have such bad experience with lost records, people not doing what they are supposed to do, computers malfunctioning, data getting lost, etc, that I just don't trust.
 
I have been worried about this for a few weeks now (ever since I registered for classes). Now that I know we will be paying it soon, I feel like I can finally breathe. My depression has always been that irritable/anxious kind, so to fight the depression off; I felt that I needed to resolve the anxiety. If I let the anxiety simmer, it seems to bring the depression back with it.  : (
 
Hi Lance,
I am definitely a worrier. I used to find myself holding my breath a lot, but I am a lot better now. I have a couple breathing techniques I use (the box and a chanting one).
 
I definitely try and anticipate anxiety-provoking situations, but I almost feel that by doing that, I am reinforcing the anxiety by rewarding it through avoidance behavior. Does that make sense? Like in the case of school finances. I should be able to let the bill go unpaid until the adjusted due date, but because of my anxiety, I pay it early allowing myself to feel completely relaxed about it, causing me to repeat the same scenario again the next time I register.  I guess it just depends on what the situation is or what is provoking the anxiety that would make it seem like avoidance or confrontation would be the best way to go.
 
Thanks for your advice!

Ashley, Health Educator

I sure wish I could control illogical anxiety. Today, several times, I was gripped by uncomfortable worries and anxiety, all revolving around my payment for my classes at school. 
 
I registered for classes a few weeks ago, and we have 2 weeks to pay fees before we get all our classes dropped. However, I qualified for financial aid (a bit), so I have a deferral on my fee payment (at least a couple months from now), but...I can't stop obsessing over the possibility that the school may forget about my deferral or something bad might happen and cause me to lose all of my classes. It is hard to get into classes once you have been dropped. I know this is illogical, but I am obsessing over it anyway.
 
I finally told my husband about my fears tonight, and he said we should just pay the fees next week to alleviate my worries. That way my classes will be locked in, and I can breathe again. I am feeling a little better already, knowing this.
 
I just wish I could not have the anxiety in the first place. There is no reason for me to worry; yet I am finding myself getting more and more worried as the summer passes.
 
I am frustrated at myself for having the anxiety in the first place.