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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 271

Wow, Wildcat, busy.

I also miss your wit and insight and I love garage sales of any kind, I like to just see what others are saying is useless, I am not allowed to spend much (because I would come home with too much and then end up throwing it away or something).

I hope this finds you well, or as close to well as can be expected on Monday.

Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Wildcat,

I hope you are doing well. Must admit I miss your wit and your wonderful insights. But I do understand needing to just have time and space! So I hope you are doing well!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hiya WildCat,

I was just wondering how you were doing? Hope you are well. Hope to hear from you soon :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey WildCat,

You are welcome. Garage sales are great fun I like them too. You can find some great treasures in there! Plus as you said, it is good to recycle. I totally agree with you!

And yeah, I get why the judgement passed bothered you. I find it disturbing as well when people make that kind of judgement. But I try to remind myself that their opinion doesn't really matter. Who cares what they think? But that is easier said then done...

. But I do hope you will enjoy what you bought at the garage sale!

How are you feeling today, btw?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

thanks Ashley and Diva!!

I love garage sales... you find things with so much character and that have stoode the test of time! The items often have a loved and pleasant vibration.

And It is so important to the environment that we reduce the amount of primary resources we consume... metals, plastics (petrolum), wood, energy!!! Even if we recycle - items are not 100% post consumer resources... so we are tearing up the planet. We are enslaving whole populations. Sorry, I am sounding worse than a green ranting militant. I am not militant anything, just conscious of my consumerism.

So I like to reduce by reusing. I like garage sales and bazars... the local used store ... and the paper for sale pages. I was not this that got to me it was just that a judgement was passed. I know there are those that like shinny new! they like anti-bacterial and all!! But I do not pass judgement on their choices, I do not go off a few steps and laugh with another with the same convictions in their face!!!

I do not make derogatory statements -you are making your yard into a garbage heap with scratched appliances that work well but are useless because they are estetically flawed-

okay time for work...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hiya WildCat,

I am so sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I wish I had something to help you out, you are always so helpful to me!

I am sorry to hear your dreams are not coming true for you yet. I am also sorry to hear you need a vacation and cannot afford one. As for sleeping to escape I completely understand.

As for your Pdoc, don't let him tell you what you can or cannot handle. I had a Pdoc who thought I would be on heavy medication and unable to function for the rest of my life basically. Well, I go for long periods of times with no meds and do very well and I got a university degree! So there, showed him! I even made it into a doctorate's program! You are the one who knows your limits!

As for sleep issues, it could be a blessing in disguise. My husband was always tired and all that. We discovered he had sleep issues. since he was helped for his sleep he feels much better. It could be the same for you!

As for getting your meds upped, well I can understand that issue. Anytime I have to get more meds or go back on them after a period without them I find it difficult. But in the long run the important thing is that I do what is most helpful to me. Hopefully this will help you.

As for telling about mental health issues leading to boring tasks I hear you. and that is so stupid. Part of what makes you so bored at work is the lack of variety. It makes it hard to stay focused. It is completely counterproductive!

As for that nasty lady, well, she did not deserve you. Some people are just miserable human beings who cannot recognize great people if they fell on them! I hope you manage to let go of that as you are wonderful and intelligent and insightful and caring and lovely! She definitely did not deserve you!

Sometimes, it is hard to fit in at work, I get it. At school, I often feel like an outsider from the other students. I don't quite know how to interact with them successfully. When it really gets to me, I remind myself of the friends I do have and my family who love me and remind myself that if people aren't nice to me, I don't really want them in my life anyway. I know there might be little comfort in my words for you I wish I had better. I just find you are so wonderful and I wish I could just make you see it!

As for the charity sale, well some people are just stupid! some people are snobs and can't see the beauty that is around them if it hit them between the eyes!

I Hope you feel better and regain stability and energy. Through your posts I have discovered a wonderful, creative, intelligent woman. You are in my thoughts!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Wildcat,

I am sorry to read all this. You are dealing with so much right now.

Hopefully the sleep clinic will help improve your sleep schedule. This will help you immensely. It is incredibly difficult to face any challenge when you are exhausted. Although it is another physical problem it may give you some relief once a solution is found.

You say you cannot let go of what this women has said to you but you have to. What does evidence dictate you? What do you feel? You are not useless. If she was a good team leader she would realize that everyone is an individual and everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It would be her job to utilize your strengths.

No one is useless. Maybe she wouldn't have hired you. Maybe she wouldn't have been able to find anyone to suit all of her requirements. Maybe she has hurt hundreds of people like she has hurt you. Either way do not give her that much power. You know deep down you are worthwhile and have worth. We all know that. We need to find a way to resolve this in your mind. We can't let this to continue to haunt you.

As with your coworkers. Many people are nervous when it comes to mental health. Many do not know much about it and do not know how to deal with it. It may seem like to you that they are ignoring you but they simply might be frightened and not know how to act around you. Try to be patient. Try to continue to be your warm self. Have you talked to your boss about what is being done about mental health awareness? Please look at the post I made in Mod's Corner today entitled Mental Illness in the Workplace. There are programs that can educate your office on mental health and teach them what they can do. Many people don't realize that they just have to be themselves, concerned and caring like they would with someone who had any other illness.

About the charity sale, some people say senseless things. Some people also cannot see worth when it is obviously present. Try not to take it personally. Many people can be materialistic and snobby. If they cannot appreciate it then its their problem. Try not to let it affect you.

You are such a strong woman wildcat. I read your posts and I am always impressed on how articulate, informative and driven you are. You will get through today, tomorrow and perhaps in the near future you will be posting all you successes.

Stay strong.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

hi gang.

Yup. It is me. I have had it, I have nothing left to face tomorrow with.

My dream needs 15,000 liquid and my investments are locked for 30 years. My body wants two months of vacation and my bank account cannot let me have it. My head is so bored that It wanders off every once in a while and even goes to sleep to escape.

I saw the pdoc Monday. He was worried my dream would ask too much of me... so I might as well just give-up. The p-doc has recommended I get to a sleep clinic because my sleepiness and snoring might be symptomes of YET another physical problem. And he has upped the mood stabliser so I will have less binging and less weeping-moments at work.

I hate lying at work. I have seen that admitting to being metally ill has reduced me to having a one task job, and a boring task at that! So I am like the others. Like a diabetic, take the meds and all is fine - not that the world is falling in on me and I am in a world of pain... here. Here when I started, I was with a miserable woman (team-leader) who DAILY! would find my errors and belittle me and humiliate me... and and and now she is dead. so that is over but her words still haunt me, If I had been here when The Boss was hiring you would never been hired !!! I would never have chosen you !!! So I was classified as useless by this estemed employee, and I hold on to this 8 years later... even after her death, I cannot let go. And there is no daily effort to remove this indoctrination, so it has remained.

No one talks to me now. They... discuss the shows they watched and how cute obama and his wife are on the news... and when I turn around I am ignored. Yesterday!!! when one girl left early, I waved from a 2 meters and she did not see me. Right. So I cry and turn a sickly blotched red face with led blue eyes.

sometimes, there are senseless things said that hurt just as much!! there is a charity sale here, so I brought a few of my creations for their sale. I bought a rubber raft for my kids... and those next to me said in a nice loud there is nothing but junk there!

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