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15 years ago 0 1693 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Glad to hear that you are feeling better and that you are going to put the lights on the tree and get some baking done! Isn't Christmas wonderful!! 

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
15 years ago 0 201 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
thank you sarah, mom of 3 and goofy - sarah i guess i am my own worst enemy, other people tell me i'm not what i say i am when i am down. i think the extremes in mood are all about my comfort zone - my very tiny teeny comfort zone. one moderator gave good advice about just going out for an hour or two and see if that would be ok. good idea. these day trips or week trips i can't tolerate - too far from home and what - safety? no judgement? no criticism? no having to do what i don't want to do? mom, i missed you when you were gone and figured in my narcisstic way that i had something to do with it - me and my big mouth! who am i to judge you or tell you what to do or how to think? goofy, you are smart as a whip and your work with nami is impressive. i like talking to you guys, really look forward to it. i am feeling a little better - 2 pristiq instead of 1 - the headaches have gone away and i'm actually going to go put those damn lights on the tree! if not for me, my husband who loves christmas and the kids when the pop in. may even get ingredients together to do some baking later on. god, all this fine tuning is exhausting, isn't it? just want to say again, i value you all, don't mean to pi** you off, want to keep talking.
15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Isn't it great that we are not all alike, all bring different issues and experiences to the table though some of us wear the same label.  Isn't it great that through our individual personalities we are able to give people a different perspective on what we are going through - that common bond.  Many people have gathered together through the years to get through comparable circumstances, issues and problems (i.e. the Holocaust survivors, Alcoholics, WWII veterans, etc.)  And though each experienced these issues or events they were all unique individuals, able to gather support and share experiences to help heal wounds, find peace and comfort, and relate to one another. 
As we go through life we find people we can become friends with, others remain acquaintances and others we let come and go in our lives.  We find certain personality characteristics that are appealing to us, that maybe we can relate to or share, aspire to be like.  We meet people and are thankful for our just our small share of issues which life can dish out and other's we wish if "they only knew", they wouldn't think their life so bad.  I think this uniqueness is what makes this world such a great place. 
I think these things are what makes it so valuable to come here, the common bond, the unique experiences (some more intense than others), the individual personality characteristics, knowledge, insight, and  issues that we all have to share to help each other to find support, heal wounds, find peace and comfort and relate to one another. 
I want to thank each and every one for their unique perspective, their true personalities, sharing their experiences here, so that I might learn, cope better, and manage my depression.   I value them all!
 
 
 

15 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Rose
 
I just read your last post - you are really hard on yourself!!!  Just before I took a break to calm myself down and reflect on what had been said - it was you who had posed some very interesting questions/thoughts for me to consider.  If you did not express your thoughts you would not be you.  You say you are obnoxious but you are not.  You are honest and say what you think about things, to do any differently would be a waste as you bring many interesting and thought provoking issues and questions here.
 
You spoke your mind here and I did not want to offend you.  You have valid reasons for your thoughts and raise some really good issues. I have some of these issues myself but they were brought on by people who use God's name to try to get what they want at my (or other's) expense.  But I do see why you would feel as you do.  I did not mean to imply that you should not speak your mind but just as I had spoken mine. If you felt I meant you were not entitled to your opinion you are wrong.  I felt that I had started a debate that was not my intention to start. I know it is a touchy issue for many and I really was trying to avoid stepping on toes but wanted to address Ralph's question in his post. When I read the other posts I had the feeling that I had done just that.  I apologize if I made you feel bad for stating something that you feel strongly about.  You are opinionated but not obnoxious and opinionated is alright by me - keep it up!  Again I apologize. 
15 years ago 0 955 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Rose,
 
You raise a lot of good questions in your post. People use this site for many different reasons and regardless of your motives, this is a community where people are allowed to share their own experiences with others.
 
When you mention you have always felt at one extreme or another, can you think of a time when you did not feel this way? When you simply felt in the middle? What were you doing when you felt like this? Who were you with?
 
Sometimes people can find comfort and security in feeling a certain way. Perhaps even though you are labelling these feelings as aggressive or obnoxious, do other people see it this way too?
 
Keep us posted on how you are doing Rose. And always remember, we care about you!
 
 
Sarah, Health Educator
15 years ago 0 201 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
goofy - you could ride up front!  thank you so much ralph, for your reply, you seem like a nice man. what i need....hmmmm.....a lobotomy! or to go back in time 35 years knowing what i know now! actually if you are reading old posts, you can give me your honest analysis - am i nuts? am i using this forum to give "free rein" to my codependent tendencies - mainly judging and advice-giving? am i incorporating other people's problems spongelike into my own issue crowded brain? probably none of us are in a position to give advice - or are we the best people to take advice from? i'm confused, that's the story of my life. very very confused about the whole thing, the why and the wherefores. i just know i've always been this way - shy or obnoxious, timid or aggressive, loving or hateful - such ridiculous extremes and usually out of nowhere and they blow in and out and the damage is done! anyways, look forward to talking to you more. nice to have a male perspective. really, thanks alot, the first time i read it i cried, wondering if it were true that you cared or anyone else, for that matter. i know that i do and that i mean well and i hope to learn about myself and others and that i have become attached to some of the people here and form pictures in my mind of them - i guess i have a rich fantasy life and not much else! i was on paxil then lexapro then lexapro with wellbutrin and now pristiq - sure notice the difference. will probably go back on the lexapro SSRI which worked the best for me. slowed down but not crying or hunkered down with a good book and a bad attitude!  i'm so good at hunkering down, if there were an olympic event i would win for sure!
15 years ago 0 51 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dear Rose, I have been reading your other posts. I know where you are, I have been there and it is no fun at all. I wish I knew what to say to give you some hope. The medication I am on is Cymbalta, I was on effexor before, which is basically the same thing but with a few more side effects. I have been on it for 11 days am really feeling it start to kick in. My mood is better, I am not amplifying the negative aspects of my life and myself. It is a serotonin uptake inhibitor. I have been doing alot of reading about brain chemistry and there are actual studies that show that was is happening to us is not all our fault. My readings show that there may be a specific gene that makes cetain people predisposed to depression when certain life events hit. Not only that  studies suggest that as we go thru depression our brain chemisry changes, which makes us predisposed to it happening again. I was lucky the doctors found what was effective for me on the first try. This doesn't take away from the fact that there are alot of issues we have to deal with, it just puts them on a level playing field so we have an equal shot at meeting them head on. So there is HOPE! You just have to get thru where you are at right now! I know that is hard, I have been there, right there, right where you are right now! I have been thru the same things at work and felt the exact same way about friends and family! I see the cry for help in your posts! That's why you want to just take off! Go somewhere, anywhere but here where I feel like such a failure.  I know how frustrating it is, you do what they say and it doesn't seem to help, so you think there is something wrong with you. But it not something you can help right now, there are physical parts to it that are going to take time, but you can get thru it! We all care for YOU! We are all here to HELP! Just tell us what we can do and realize it will get better. If there is anything I can do write me. If you want to talk thru this forum, I am here all day. Like I said I am doing better, still not ready for work yet. Still have a long, long way to go, but at least I feel good about the fact that I have started! Take Care! and rememberWE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU! 
15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Rose I ain't decorating for christmas and when you crank that car  - holler real loud.....I'll ride in the trunk.  As for proving anything.  I think we all respect each others individual beliefs, thoughts and opinions.  I love stimulating conversations and seeing the way others view things.  I learn through keeping an open mind.  I do understand where you are coming from though.  I am afraid that I will offend someone with my "beliefs" irregardless of what they are about - part of our insecurities?  I dunno. 
 
 Ralph, I'm glad you got something out my rambling.  I do appreciate so much your comment where I am talking about my parents.  It has been very very comforting today, thinking about what you said. 
15 years ago 0 201 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
thanks! i just feel like crap and hope i'm not provoking anything as is my tendency. what meds are you on ralph? glad you're feeling better - i'm playing experiment and so far it ain't working - just feel like opting out of everything including christmas! feel like getting in the car and just going in what direction i have no idea, this seems to be a favorite fantasy of ours
15 years ago 0 823 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Ralph,
 
Glad to see you are finding this site and members' responses helpful, supportive and stimulating. The discussions are meant to be thought-provoking and it's great to see how members are interacting in a respectful and caring manner.
 
Have you worked through any sessions in the program yet? You can jump to sessions that pertain to your current situation if you need to.  The effort and time needed to do the sessions is really well worth it and will help you discover a lot about yourself.
 
Stay close and let us know how you are doing.
 
 
 
 
Faryal, Health Educator

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