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negativity at work

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

Rosie,

It is good to hear you are feeling better.

Deciding on a career path can be a very difficult decision to make. And as you have probably guessed, you are the only one in control and the decision is ultimately yours. However, there are things you can do in the mean time as you try and decide on an appealing option.

You mentioned that a lot of people have ideas about your future. Are any of these appealing to you? Are there other occupations you have considered in the past? What about hobbies, interests, or skills of yours? Do any of these seem like possible career choices for you?

These questions may seem overwhelming so it may help to start writing down some of your ideas as they come to you. Once you have compiled an initial list, you can reflect on each career and choose to research the ones you are thinking about pursuing. This may be a lengthy process but by doing something that you enjoy for a living, other aspects of your life will also experience benefits!

Keep us posted on how the rest of your week goes. We are here for you!

Sarah, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

Well, 5 people arrived for my meeting instead of 2 (still not quite the 20 I actually requested to attend). At least I feel better. My boss knows about it and knows it is not my fault. That is all that is important. One of my big problems is that I have no idea where I want to go in my career. I don't think I am in the right field for me. Business is so cut-throat. It's not me. Everyone I talk to has another idea about my future. I just can't decide. Too many options, so I end up not doing any......

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Rosie,

I'm glad you have decided to stand your ground at work! You can do it and it will make you feel so much better.

As for you and your husband - it is good that you have talked. Good that he understands how you feel and why. It is going to be dificult to totally get rid of the feeling you have right now, but it will get better as time goes on and he remains truthful with you. Keep your lines of communication open, that will hopefully help to keep things honest between you.

Keep us posted on your meeting

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 201

rosie, time and his good behavior will heal your wounds. right now, you are still waiting for the other shoe to drop and probably become wary at times. that's understandable. hang in there rosie....it ain't easy, but go about your business, hope for the best and see what happens. there's not much you can do about controlling his behavior, but like mom said you set the boundry and if he crosses it again, it's his loss.AND you can say that again about making yourself (ourselves) happy - i/we deserve it, even if it doesn't come naturally.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Rosie,

Photography sounds like a great hobby to get into! If you have always wanted to get into it I am sure that you would be wonderful at it

As for work, don't let people take advantage of you. Stand your ground!

I think you said it well in your post Rosie, you can't make everyone happy, so you might as well make yourself happy

Hang in there!

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

Hi Sarah

One thing I have always wanted to do was photography. Maybe I should think about doing something like that, who knows, I might even make (gasp) friends. It would be nice to get out of the house, alone, sometimes.

Work was OK today. I had set up a meeting and only 2 people arrived. I was so cross, I sent out a very emotional e-mail after speaking to my boss, who said I need to start fighting my own battles. I don't know if it helped. I have rescheduled it for tomorrow morning. If no one comes, it is not my problem if the work does not get done. I will just explain all this in my performance discussion. I am pick up the slack for everyone, and I end up looking like a fool. I guess I want people to like me, so I take all their nonsense.

Mom of 3, I actually had a chat with my husband over the weekend and explained why I got so upset about the small lie. Small lies lead to big lies. I have asked him to be open about everything and expect me to be a bit paranoid about his whereabouts for a while. I am trying to move on. Einstein said 'insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result'. I am just not sure what to do so I don't end up at the same crossroad, feeling the same way again. We usually have a long meaningful discussion and after a few weeks, I get upset all over again. I guess the difference will be that I am starting to believe I am good enough and if people don't see that it is their loss. You can't make everyone happy, so you can just as well make yourself happy.....

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

Rosie, You mentioned that you have few hobbies. Is there one of two activities you have wanted to try in the past but have not done so for one reason or another? Now is the perfect opportunity! Be proactive! Please keep us updated on how you are managing. We are here for you!

Sarah, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Rosie,

It is the burden of the liar to earn back the trust that has been lost. It is not at all strange that you are not as trusting as you once were. Lies break trust, that's a given. Be open to allowing him to gain your trust, but understand that that is your only responsibility. It is up to him not to lie to you and you can't control that. Since he has already lied there is no way that you will think that he is incapable of doing so again. This is not your problem, it is his, he created it. He is the only person to prove that he won't do it again, by not doing so.

Your job is to know that he is capable of lying, it is not yours to dismiss that knowledge. If he has asked forgiveness, then forgive. Give him every opportunity to never do it again. Create boundaries on what will happen if he continues to lie to you and mean it. Boundaries are good, they create respect, and they define you. Someone aware of where you stand is less likely to walk over you again. Expect him not to lie, understand that is capable of it, hope that he will respect you better in the future. If he does not, blame him for the fact you don't trust him.

Hang in there Rosie, it sounds like your husband is trying to make ammends. You just need to stop beating up on yourself for something that is not yours. Thinking of and praying for you.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

Thanks for the stories and support. I guess I was just really tired and down this week, maybe next week will be better. I have started sending out CV's, usually there are alot of job openings in Jan after people get their bonuses so maybe I'll get lucky. I think maybe it is time to move on. The biggest thing about my husband's incident was that we were so close. I have so few friends and hobbies, because we have just always done everything together. It was like we didn't need anyone else and when this thing happened, I felt completely alone. I just find myself pulling away from him at times when he tries to comfort me. I don't know what is wrong with me. He feels so bad about what he did, how do I just let it go? I want to trust him and forget it happened but the voice is still there, wondering whether it will happen again.....

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Lots of great advice and support here for you Rosie

Hang in there,

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

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negativity at work