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17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3046

Thank you Faryal

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Pete - so glad to read that your day with your son turned out well despite the anxiety you were feeling. I certainly second your impression that a 17 year old young man wanting to spend time with his dad is something to be proud of...........good for you! As for the meds/supps, I believe you are on the right track and taking the omega 3-6-9 is a great idea. Consider B vitamins also - but first check with your health provider. These help to modulate your stress levels and regulate mood. Mom of 3 - I wanted to comment on your ability to identify that the lack of enjoyment you experienced at your friend's wedding did not tarnish your happiness for her wedding nor her new life. Sometimes we are so coloured by our own grey feelings that it is hard to see the brilliance in others' situations. I do hope that in the very near future you too will be able to enjoy yourself as you envision. Faryal, Health Educator

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3046

Faryal:

Thanks for the compliment about my way of expressing myself. I've always had delusions of myself as a writer, so that pushes the right buttons

. You asked am I taking any meds or supplements - I've just last week started on citalopram, and I'm taking an omega 3-6-9 supplement. I'm on the second stage of the program - struggling with setting solid and achievable treatment goals.

The day at the bike racing with my son was okay - I got very anxious before setting out because it was foggy, and I hate driving in the fog. I'm usually quite a confident driver, but I'm so edgy at the moment that I really had to force myself to set out. As things turned out, the fog cleared and it was an unseasonably sunny day at the racetrack. I had to force myself to enjoy it (or at least appear to do so) and not worry about the drive home and the week ahead and the week just gone and whatever else I found to worry about. But I made the effort, which I believe was worthwhile. My son is 17 and does still communicate with his boring old dad, so that's to be encouraged, and maybe something to be proud of.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3046

Hi Wildcat,

She was happy because she and her boyfriend were married. She had planned her wedding the way she wanted it and it went without a problem. The day was gorgeous and she looked lovely. She is a very down to earth person. Her biggest concern was to have the things she and her husband wanted at the wedding, things that make them happy and mean something to them. It was not the most lavish wedding I have ever attended, but it was one of the most sincere because it reflected them and not alot of tradition. I enjoyed the wedding because of the details that made the wedding unique to her. She incorporated scripture readings and Irish blessings into the ceremony. Dinner was chicken and pork barbeque, maccaroni & cheese, baked beans, corn, and cole slaw. Totally them. When I said I did not have a good time there was no reflection on their wedding. I would have enjoyed myself tremendously if it were not for my circumstances, the lack of enjoyment was my fault not hers.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3046

MO3

why was your friend so happy? my wedding day was a party day because Chouette and I had promised to each other and to God we would be together till death before ... Did you enjoy the wedding, and the party? She worked hard to get things just so and did everyone appreciate the outcome?

Pete?

How was the show? I once went to the Harley-Davidson thing and was rather disappointed. It was motor-bikes in the gloom with too much rock music and undressed girls. Perhaps young men in boxers on the bikes would have sparked my attention?!?

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hello Pete, First of all I would like to comment that you have a lovely, poetic way about expressing yourself! You mentioned that you feel out of control of your emotions and feelings.............I can totally understand your frustration with this. And so the slightest mishap amplifies these feelings resulting in fury or anger. I am just curious if you are taking any meds or supplements and if you have worked through any of the program yet? I do hope you were able to enjoy your day with your son...........although these situations can feel overwhelming I am sure it is all worthwhile. Do let us know how it went. Faryal, Health Educator

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

pete, yes very grim the ending took my by surprise, i thought for sure.........hey! by comparison we have it pretty good

please try and have fun tomorrow if not for your sake, for your son's. sometimes, you do have to suck it up and this is one of those times!

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3046

Hi Pete et al,

I'd give you all some book titles but I read mostly mystery/thriller or crime type books. I tend to stay away from anything too bleak or tear-jerking. My emotions are too roller coaster anyway so I don't need a catalyst. I think I gravitate toward the good vs evil stuff, where good usually wins, because I have a need for good to win. I want good to win.

As far as wishing you were finished with what is supposed to be pleasant before it even occurs, I can so relate. I find that there's not too much I really enjoy anymore. I hurt so much that it is painful to be pleasant When I don't hurt I am numb (my word for your hollow I think). I'm not sleeping well and am constantly tired. There's a pit in my stomach and I am having persistent headaches. Which is my lead in to...

Today I went to my friend's wedding and my husband went along. Luckily I didn't know many of the people there so we could be rather annonymus but it was rather hard to be there. I went for my friend even though I didn't feel like it (not sure why my husband went, but another story) She was very happy and having a great time. The day was beautiful and it seemed that everything went without a hitch. After seeing how happy she was I was glad I went, even if it was hard. I would not say I had a wonderful time, maybe not even a good time. But I wouldn't have missed seeing her happiness just because I am not. I don't know if you will see this before you go or not, but spend time with your son even if you don't feel like it. It is a positive and positive leads to pleasant. (The bed will still be there when you get back) I do hope you have a good time, but even an ok time will do at this point. I wish you well Pete.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3046

Rose306,

Yes, I've read 'The Road'. One of the grimmest, most bleak books I've ever read. Brilliantly written, but not one of your 'feelgood and unwind' kind of books. Didn't know there was a movie coming out.

I'm going out tomorrow with my son to some motorbike racing. Had it planned for months. Supposed to enjoy it. But I just wish it was over and done with and it was already tomorrow evening and I was back in bed, and the fear was gone. Isn't that terrible, and such a hollow feeling when pleasures are so greyed-out? Got to re-learn to enjoy, re-learn to relax, but too much tension all the time....

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

wildcat, "i sometimes relive in the day over and over again"! wow, me too. even in my dreams.back when i was waiting tables,a very hectic job - there was a saying when one of us was toooo busy, we'd say that "we were in the weeds" meaning we needed just a little help. we all had the same nightmares, where we were frantically trying to remember did i do this and did i do that? sometimes the stress really is 24/7! best books: to kill a mockingbird, 1984, the divine comedy, all poe and lovecraft.
pete, have you read "the road" yet by mcarthy? i mention it mainly because the movie is coming out with viggo mortensen and he always makes me

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