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16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Thank you for your encouragement and support Mom of 3! It does seem like he heard me right? Tonight he walked with me again and he helped with supper. Ok, so then he retreated to his games but I did appreciate the help! I just wish we had some relaxation (playtime!) together but I can see he is making efforts. As such I try to thank him for the positive changes instead of droning on about more time with him. He is making great efforts :)

And you how are you? And how are things going for you?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Wow Diva! I am thrilled to hear about your progress. It does seem like he heard you and that's great. The gaming won't totally go away though. He likes the games, most guys do, but if he keeps it in balance that's a big part of the battle. If he's making changes and you are spending more time together, then some game time shouldn't be threatening.

I hope you continue moving forward in your progress

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hiya Mom of 3,

I am glad that you had a good weekend! Sounds like your mother in law is really nice. I am also glad that you could overcome your issues while away. I agree with you that sometimes time apart is better and that sometimes giving yourself some time off and giving the other person time out is the best thing to do! Let me know how it goes!

As for me, I see some progess. I am slipping in some areas, but will try my best to get back moving forward. I have started letting my sleep patterns go again which is impacting my work negatively. But I will get back on track. As for my husband, weird things have been happening. I think this time he actually heard me...Strange. And yet very exciting!

For example, yesterday he helped me make supper, he did the dishes and he came for an hour long walk with me!

So in the last week, he has cut down on junkfood at work. Has asked me to make him healthy lunches. Helps me make healthy suppers and had helped me with the dishes...And he walks with me in the evening! Wow leaps and bounds I tell you leaps and bounds! I am afraid to pinch myself in case I wake up!

Ok so he still plays a ton but hey, what an improvement. I make sure to thank him and such when he helps, It is important he knows I am greatful for his efforts!

Anyway, gotta run! I got up too late today and am late on everything!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Mom of 3,

Sounds like you had a good weekend. How are things with your husband? Do you think the time apart, and not speaking, was helpful?

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Diva,

It's been a long day, flight delays and such, but I'm finally home. I had a really nice time visiting with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. It gave me a chance to distance myself from things and allowed me some down time. My mother-in-law treats me very well and makes you feel at home.

I did have a few issues while away but was able to keep everything together. I didn't talk to my mother-in-law about any of this, I don't feel that she really needs to be saddled with it. It would be different if my husband had said something to her first.

My husband was home all by himself but was put out that I didn't call him. I told him that I had decided that I would give him thw weekend to do as he pleased without any questioning from me. I had decided that he could call me on his terms. He asked if I missed him and I told him that I did, but wanted to make sure that he had some space and time. I can't tell what he thought of that exactly but I guess time will tell. I feel like it was the right decision given our past conversations and things he had complained about.

I'll cut off here. I hope you're doing well, and that you're seeing some progresses

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hiya Mom of 3,

Wow, it really does sound like you have a lot on your plate! Sheesh! Hang in there though you can get through this I am sure! I will hope for you that your weekend goes well and that your auntie feels better.

Sorry if my reply is short tonight, I must admit being very exhausted as I have not been sleeping well at all this week.

I just wanted to drop in and say hi and that I sympathize with you and that I beleive you can get through this

Also, I think it is great that your talk was productive and that you will both be getting help. That is just great!

I will be looking forward to hearing more from you Sunday night so please keep me posted when you can!

Once again, sorry for the short reply.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi again Diva,

I'm sorry that my reply was lame last evening but I actually had several things going on at once. My husband and I were in the middle of another issue, my mother-in-law called about my trip and I spoke to my mom about my aunt who is in the hospital.

My plate was rather full.

I'm taking my son to see his grandmother which is why I'm leaving for the weekend. He's going for 2 weeks which is not going well for me. For his grandmother's sake I hope he does well because she is really excited to have him and has all types of activities planned. I'm sure he'll be fine and have a great time, but 2 weeks will be hard on mom!

My favorite aunt is now on dialysis and because of my trip I won't be able to get there to see her. (my family is 2.5 hrs, away)\I hope she gets better soon, but it's not hard to see that she has health ptoblems.

Our disscussion was productive last night and I have a clearer understanding of where he is. Definitely depressed, we talked about getting help but separately for now. We both have personal issues to overcome first. At least I have a better understanding now.

This weekend isgoing to be hard, but I'll manage. As I said I won't be back on until Sunday evening, let me know how you're doing and take care!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Diva,

Work was busy today so I was busy. Tonight is not going well. I will not be on for a few days after 4pm tomorrow because I have to go out of town without my computer. I check in tomorrow if I can but if not I'll check in Sunday night. Take care and I'm going to try to stay strong, this weekend is going to be hard on me and full of negative thoughts that I will need to battle.

I'll check in later

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hi Mom of 3,

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement! I just wanted to srop in to say that I agree that waiting and being patient in theese kind of things is hard. It is worth it though.

I am glad to hear you take more time for yourself and that you have backed off the hyper mode. Me I feel much more relaxed today but really exhausted. My day went well enough tho all in all.

Thank you again and have a great gym night!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi again Diva,

Thank you for being so kind. I also read your other comments and it is time for you. When my husband and I first sat down and aired our problems I too became very hyper and anxious. I began to clean like a mad woman, and worked and worked. Having 2 cats and a messy son soon made me realize that this is not the environment to let my OCD run wild - I would go crazy. Although I'm a bit less hyper I am still making more progress than I ever did, but also making my son more responsible for his mess. I just wish the cats would own some of theirs!

Since I've backed off of "hyper mode" I actually feel much better and do find time for me. The hardest part of this is the wait, I have hope for better and don't want to take second best in recovery or in my marriage. The wait for it to happen is killing me though.

Take your time with things Diva you don't deserve second best either! Take care - have to go to work and will be back on later tonight (It's gym night)

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