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16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hello Mom of 3,

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I am happy with myself for getting up early not because I could not sleep but because I chose too. Actually my issue is with sleeping too much, not too little. My issue is also living upside down as in I stay up very very late and sleep all day. So for me waking up today was definetely a step in the right direction.

Also, I managed to go eat breakfast at the mall with my mother (which is a good step not only for my depression but for my anxiety and panic issues as well lol). Then I managed to get some work done and some housework done. I had help from my mom all day but I still am proud of myself. My mom is a Godsend tho! and hey, eventually I will manage without extra help :) So all in all I am happy with what I accomplished. Well I am theoretically happy, I am just too exhausted to feel it atm

Atm am having trouble keeping my eyes open. Must resist urge to sleep

! I am trying to reset my sleep schedule but man I am tired lol. So i totally get what you say about sleeping at the computer!

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement, the understanding and the reply!

-Diva

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Good for you Diva!

My sleep patterns are telling about my depression handling. The anxiety is making me get up very early right now because I wake up with a panic attack and then can't sleep. Yet when I'm on the computer I will find myself becoming exhausted and my eyes closing and beginning to fall asleep. I'm also exhausted at bedtime. I have to try hard to stay awake and fight off the desire to just give in and go to sleep. It's a bit much to take because I had been thinking that I was overcoming some of my depression, but now realize it's the two things working in opposite directions.

Getting up earlier on your own is exciting, because it means you are beginning to deal better. Keep working through this site, you'll find that there's much you can apply to your circumstance. I know you'll get there!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hello Sylvie and Mom of 3.

Thank you for the very kind and reassuring replies. Still feeling a bit overwhelmed by all that I read but I figure I will reread it and see how that goes. I did managed to get up in the morning instead of at 3 to 4 pm so that is a victory for me. Anyway, all this to say thanks and thanks for being there.

-Diva

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi again Diva,

Having depression isn't any fun, but give yourself time to digest the information. Being sad and tired is part of depression. From what you wrote about it seems to me that you would have some sadness (your Dad has been sick, you and your husband have fights) and be tired (you just graduated and have signed up for more).

This site does help you figure out your thoughts and why you feel that way. Sometimes you're not even conscious of these patterns.

Take your time Diva, you've done well and this too shall pass!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Your right, reading and starting the sessions can help you explore how you are feeling, that is why the mood tracker is important. It helps in sorting out your emotions and everyday feelings. Stick with it and read up on the knowledge, going through each session will assist you. Focus on the positive and give yourself a break. You have a lot on your plate and it is ok to relax yourself and take time for you.

Josie, Health Educator

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

I read the first session and it answered alot of question for me but at the same time it raised a lot too.

Some things I feel apply to me and others feel way off. I feel guilty like I have no reason being here and depressed. Don't know what qualifies as negative life events but I am pretty sure I have a pretty good life so... Anyway, funny how reading session one left me feeling so unsure and confused... I actually feel more anxious now then before too. I guess reading session one forces me to explore how I am feeling and considering being depressed is one of my worse fears, this is not easy for me.

It says depression comes from negative life events but I did not have major negative life vents per say. My husband and I are having tough times, I am exhausted from efforts at school, my dad just got through chemo but all in all things are oddly going well. I just graduated from university and am going back for a new degree in the fall. I have a great boss who wants to mentor me in my academic and professionnal career. My husband and me fight but he still loves me. I have a great mom and my best friend is great. My dad is doing well overall despite the cancer. So why am I so sad and exhausted and incapable of doing anything?

Also, it says that this can be chronic and that people become more sensitive to stress and that that in turn can make them more susceptible to depression. Well cosidering this is not my first depression, that I have GAD and PD with agoraphobia, this is just not good news for me! that really freaked me out!If somebody can put this in perspective for me please do!

Anyway, many questions but I won't bother you guys with all of them. Does anybody else feel this confused? And does it get clearer as we go?

Anyway, take care, thanks for letting me vent. I am sure it will get better :)

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