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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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moods


16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
an epiphany comes and if i do not get it right away ... its gone.
the feelings I have worked through are gone and the ideas and the process is gone.  sorry.
 
anyways I did some stupid things this week.  I survived and am back to the "normal" range.
lets see what the summer brings.
16 years ago 0 1153 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wildcat,
 
Try again - the length of the post is restricted. Continue on with your thought.
 


Brenna, Bilingual Health Educator
16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hey where did the rest go?  I had an epiphany and lost it...
16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
sorry, I was running a bit late there... lets take this one question at a time
 
My original  inquiry was concerning my psychiatrist's passing comment that bipolar moods cannot be manipulated.  If that were so then lifestyle changes would make no difference to my over all health and emotional stability.  Yet all my readings on the internet and in various books stress the need to keep to health habits and strict routeins.   And I think that, to a certain extent, I can manipulate my moods.  I know that caffine and alcohol are effective mood changers.   I know that sleep depervation and exercise are also very effective.  so why would the psychiatrist say that bipolar moods cannot be pushed and nugded into a "certain" direction?  is that not what medication does with a better efficiency rate?
 
Now, I am is a really stressful period.  It is reoccurant.  I am usually better prepared but a series of situations that were not in my controle have pushed my into the nether-world of anxiety-chaos.  First, we are 3 to do the work of 5 who would need over-time to get all the year-end accounting done. There are entries and maintenances to do to client accounts, and a bunch of reports to process, and stuff to balance before the books close on Saturday. Also, it is that time of the month where our client owe money for taxes so that has to come in and be taken to the office Friday morning.  The finance dept is falling into ruin because on of them is quitting at the end of June and cares nothing but plugging in numbers to balance things out. The other is a good aquantance and is a maternity replacement. She has a few of the "notes" of our usual accounting-songs but not the full "melody".  So I am trying to help her here and there by explaining our "policy" and pointing her in the right directions - but this is crushing me into a really tight time-corner.
 
Also, at home there is a whorl-wind of activity going on.  I am waiting for my appointment with the psy-specialists at the mood and anxiety clinic. My psychologist is not able to do any therapy since I am a bit all over ... so I see her weekly as a check-in and self-analysis period.  I need a weekly support moment so that I do not get caught in those cognative errors and a few emotional ones. Also, I have my annual doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon, so I will get the med follow-up and the usual pooking, prodding, and scolding (I am still 265lbs and 5'4" -under-tall-).  My children had appointments and that was another stress.  It seems my son had add and is taking concerta.  Hard to believe that this simple and EXPENSIVE med can help so much !!  My daughter went to the pediatric-psyciatrist and she is the BOSS, she searches and distroys most adult  authority using lots of intelligence.  Of course this particular gentleman had his own opinions and views of the world and loved to share them ... am I sure I am bipo ... and who and how was I diagnosed since bipo is the mental health flavour of the month...  and add is also another favorite flavour so am i sure about my son...  Hey!  did he want to save the world in 4 minutes?   my son looked like he was smoking the good stuff in class and his pencils and other supplies were taking life in his mind...
 
Finally, my husband hurt himself and it took three weeks to see a doctor. Then another week to fill the prescription for anti-inflamatiors.  So three weeks of pain and limited mobility out of pig-headed-ness has worn down his resistance.  He also was very worried about the kids... and was anticipating my accounting year-end.  He is an accounting tech and does all the books for a construction firm so he really knows what I go
16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
eh...
accounting month-end
fiscal year end
tax festival
 
summer planting,
kiddies doctor appointments
school/daycare interviews
activities
 
husband ill
husband feeling neglected
in-laws complaining about the state of the house they rent to us
 
an my own sense of inadequecy driving me dto do more and absolutely
   complete the tasks that need to be done.
 
16 years ago 0 1693 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wildcat,
 
Getting a good nights sleep and maintaining a healthy lifestyle is important to your overall health. You may be able to deprive yourself of sleep and still be able to function well, however it is not a healthy choice. 
Have you spoken to your family doctor about this?
 
 

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
16 years ago 0 1890 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hiya, Wildcat,
 
  Seems like you're caught between a rock and a hard place.  You want the feeling of high-energy competence  and you're using all those high sugar, high caffeine/guarana drinks to speed yourself up. You're losing sleep and getting irritable just so you can stay "high"... is it all about your job or are you afraid of something else you might feel if you slow down and not have such a frenetic day? I don't understand what your doctor is saying if he says that you cannot manipulate your BiPo when you're clearly playing with fire when you jack-up your nervous system artificially.. Is this about wanting the feeling of hypomania??
 
   I'd have thought that you'd be wanting to keep your engine at a steady idle rather than racing it flat out!?  I don't understand the drive here... what's up??
 
Patrick

16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi gang,
 
i am a bit confused... I have read every where that we need to have a healthy lifestyle and good habits to remain stable have the best control over our moods and illnesses.  So why did the psychiatrist say that bipo moods cannot be manipulated?  I can easily deprive myself of a few hours of sleep each night and an unhealthy dose of caffine each day to push myself to a managable high-energy Very-irritable hypomanic state!!  I can live off of ice-cream and croissants and energy drinks to push my energy to finish a project.  So there is a price to pay... I know.  But if I can preform when necessary that what counts. 
 Is this me manipulating my bipo or just me driven on anxiety?

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