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16 years ago 0 46 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
anybody out there?
16 years ago 0 46 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
well... hubby and i talked again. he was very non-emotive but, apologized for being insensitive, said he understood why i was so upset, he doesn't have a problem with me seeing a psych. i know he doesn't have a clue what else to say or do. guess the psych will help with that in time. help me communicate my needs and perhaps at some point include him in a session or two. i feel better. the tears don't come as easily when i think about it now. it's better, not great but i'm working toward making positive changes in my life and that's what i need to focus on right now- the rest will come Right? thanks again for all the support i received!!!
16 years ago 0 46 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
wonderful quote wildcat! it is true here!! it took me awhile to convince myself to share this story- it's been hard to see past the pain i felt. and now that i have i feel some relief, the tears don't come instantly when i think about it and that is all because of all of you. i feel validated, my hope restored. "the key is to keep company with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best" -Epictetus this is one of my favorite quotes, i think it is fitting for this conversation... and perhaps one day i can work to help enlighten people about depression and MI and change this stigma we face. i have put this issue on hold as far as hubby is concerned- he knows i'm hurt and angry and i'm sure probably thinks in time i'll "come around" and act normal again. Normal is just not my thing so we'll see where that takes us. i do plan on talking this over with my therapist before i make an appointment with a divorce attorney ;) thanks again all
16 years ago 0 131 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
wildcat, I believe in your quote, talking about what's on your mind helps relieve some stress with it, you're not the only one dealing with it now and we can help share that load, sort of speak. Talking about the joys in your life, you want everyone to know and their feedback just makes you feel so good about yourself, which is really important for us, I love to get that, I think everyone craves that. What a great quote!!! I know my husband has issues with his family, but what I learned today is that they are not my issues to deal with, they are his and his familys' problems. I think people like us tend to try and fix everything, and like me, I try and do the same thing. But the way he deals with things and how his family thinks he the best thing since sliced bread, and he can do no wrong, well, I see something different. But all that is his issue, I'm not going to own that anymore, yes I have to deal with him, but I'm not taking ownership of why he chooses not to do things with his family...not my fault. It's all very interesting how it all connects.
16 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Members, For those of you who are having trouble in your relationships, you'll have a chance to complete a relationship inventory and learn new communication skills in Session 11 and beyond. Keep us posted. Danielle - Bilingual Support Specialist
16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
a joy shared is joy doubled. a pain shared is pain halved. perhaps this forum follows this principal?
16 years ago 0 86 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks. I don't know how it makes anything better by knowing that someone else experiences similar things, but it does. That doesn't mean that I don't want everything to be better for you because I do! I hope you know what I mean. I really don't have anyone I feel like I can talk to about being depressed and the disaster my mind has been in for so long. People I've thought were my friends and people who I thought cared about me just don't want to hear about it, and some want to use it for gossip and others want to laugh about it, so yeah, I know what's going on there. I just don't mess with them anymore and when I do, I don't let anyone get close to me because I am afraid of being hurt some more. The only thing is that I'm afraid that I will be all alone one day, but you see I am all alone now. I just want things to be different somewhere down the road because I really would like to have a friend or two. We'll see. And yes, I know what it's like for a spouse not to understand either. I get comments all the time about needing to take meds, and being wacko and don't hurt yourself and all the other BS that is too much to list. So obviously my marriage needs work too. I wish I could give you some pointers, but all I can do is tell you that I hope you keep working at it, make very careful decisions and I wish you the very best of everything!
16 years ago 0 131 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
you know, I'm just going through dealing with this depression and my husband doesn't get it, "just don't think like that" he says. I get where he's coming from, meaning he has his own issues with security, but this doesn't make it easier for me, because you're suppose to share things with your husband, he tries, but he doesn't get it. My Mom says you'll have to find that support from people you trust or a person you trust fully and this may not be your husband. I found that I spoke to a couple of my friends and you hear their response and you'll know whether they get it or not and you don't necessarily have to go into detail with your situation...I've got a great therapist and am taking mild antidepressants, very low dose, everyday is a new day...dont' get frustrated, use this as a sounding board, I find it very helpful. You can do this, we all can.
16 years ago 0 46 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
first let me say thank you all so much for the responses- in the "state" i'm in i didn't expect much. and you're all right about this person not being the best choice for sharing my pain, baring my soul etc... and believe me i won't take that chance again!! This "person" is my husband of 13 years, he knows about my depression, he takes anti-depressants himself because a few years back after some difficult months of his crappy moods and anger outbursts i insisted he do something about it, he went to his md who rx'd a low dose of celexa and that was the end of it. I should've known better, he calls the meds "happy pills", when i'm having a bad day he usually suggests i take a nap. I've taken it all in stride in the past. Unfortunately now i have lost trust in him completely! He probably didn't know what to say or do at the moment, my confessions (particularly about seeing a therapist) probably scared him... whatever. the experience has enlightened me to the state of our marriage which is obviously something that needs work. He probably thought i was just stressed, i don't even know and right now i don't even care... i will seek support elsewhere- here, my therapist, my friend who may not understand depression specifically but, understands emotional pain. And i won't go to the divorce attorney just yet. thanks for listening! thanks for responding and supporting me! thanks for being here for me even when you all have your own issues. it truly is a comfort to know that there is understanding somewhere.
16 years ago 0 799 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Twister, Thanks for sharing this difficult experience here with us. You have received wonderful support and advice from your fellow members. It is true as the others have said, some people just don't know how to respond in situations such as this and instead of being open they try to deflect/change the subject/or minimize the importance of the issue. As difficult as this situation is, try not to let it interfere with your progress. Keep us posted, Casey ______________________ The DC Support Team

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