Hi Kat i know how hard it is to deal with these feelings and my doctor told me not to make any major life decisions(like leaving my husband) while being depressed because maybe its the way i react to things whilst being depressed does that make sense?I know when im really depressed i push everyone away but i know that dosnt help any because to get better you need the support of yor family more then ever i found that out today when i saw my psychologist i try and be strong and able to cope with whatever life throws at me but i just keep crashing down in the end so i have enlisted in the help of a couple of close friends and they are going to help. Your 'problems' arnt stupid being depressed and all the issues that go with it is very serious dont put yourself down like that you are a good person who deserves to be happy and im sure you would stand by your man if he was dealing with issues too.How long have you been married?I also hate that someone might see me as weak and im dealing with that in therapy at the moment i had a lot of pressure from my parents to be strong and not fail at anything and what would the neighbours say sort of things and ive managed to carry that with me into adulthood.Id love to have the i dont care what anyone thinks as long as those around me are happy attitude but im sure it will be a long time coming.You will get through this Kat just you see.Gabbi.

hey gabbi! i understand where your coming from i had my own share of break downs in the bathroom when my husband was home. i cut my self with a knife i hate to addmitt it but thats what happend when he was home. its not easy going through this **** but i know that you are a great person gabbi. you have helped me so much through all of this. i wish your husband was more supportive to you you are a great person.it sucks going through this crap with no support. to tell you the truth i am thinking of leaving my husband because i just want to deal with this . this weekend he spent all day with hes relatives. i suggested it but of course it really sucked because like i said hes stationed somewhere else so for him to spend his days off (two days a week usually) was hurtful mabee im over reacting though.I know he needs to spend time with his family but i hate when hes gone. i was just thinking of getting a divorce. i hate hurting people around me because of my stupid problems. i dont want to hurt him any more or have him feel like a babbysitter or something like he has to watch me or something. do you know what gabbi im sure he will get as tired of this **** like i am. i just want him to leave me wile i still have some kind of pride. i hate when people see how weak i am gabbi. i feel like im just dragging him down with me or somthing. he sais he loves me but i just feel like im letting him down or something. i dont know what to do anymore.

Hi Kat at first when i was diagnosed with all my disorders my husband was great could not do enough for me when i would be on a downer i would go into my bathroom and just cut my arms with a piece of glass i had hidden in there or a razor blade whatever i could get first he would hear me crying and practically break the door down and just sit there and cuddle me one time i grabbed all my anti depressants and started to take them and he got really angry with me and started yelling at me then realised that wasnt the answer and took me to hospital and had me checked over but id only taken a few so i was ok but now hes just never home so i am dealing with this on my own.How long have you been married for?Gabbi.

gabbi thank you so much for your support! im sorry that your husband isnt so supportive. i guess its difficult for people to understand depression unless they are actually going through it. my husband is having a hard time dealing with it himself. you said you had nervouse breakdowns in front of your husband. how did he react? and how did you explain it to him? i think everyday that things have changed now between me and my husband and that its all my fault i stop and think how hes always been ther for me he is such a great guy and he is being really patient with me. i hate to dissapoint him. sometimes i think im just not good enough for him because of this. nomatter how much he tells me that he understands i still think he is thinking im a crazy nut or something. hes hardly ever around because hes in the military and is stationed away from home. i worry everyday that hes gonna find someone better and just give up on me. i seem to ruin everything and id hate to ruin my marriage too. you seem to understand where im coming from because alot of what you say about your husband reminds me of what i am going through with mine. its good to know that im not alone and that someone understands what im going through so thank you so much for all your advice gabbi. if you ever need someone to talk to i am here for you. thank you gabbi!

Hi Kat why dont you show your husband what you have written here i thought my husband was the only one that blames everything on me pmsing so im glad to see im not alone there ;)Is it possible for your husband to go to a doctors appointment with you?I also have panic disorder,agoraphobia brought on by the panic attacks and OCD.I feel that im getting a hold on my panic attacks now i have gone from having 3 or more a day to 1 a week so i have been getting out more which is making my confidence come back which is making me feel better its such a vicious cycle.You sound like you have a lot of the fears that i have had one time or another and i am working on my belief that im worthless with my psychologist at the moment its amazing that your mind can do this to you i think we have to retrain our way of thinking i have always been a pessimist but i have many things happen in my life that made me think the worst of everything so i dont know how i could do things any different hope that made sense.As for my husband he is not very supportive when i had our last child i got post partum depression and he was really good couldnt do enough for me now though he barely comes home and when he is here we only argue or ignore each other.Just ask your husband to have plenty of patience with you and lots of support and hugs wouldnt hurt either.Be patient with yourself too dont expect to much from yourself too soon.Take one day at a time thats what ive been doing and make sure you dont have too many things going on that will stress you and do something that you enjoy each day thats a start anyhow im glad i could help you it makes me feel like im useful for something.Gabbi.

thanks for your support. i am having bad family problems now. but most importantly i am having a hard time explaining all this depresion crap to my husband i will probably print out some facts on majore/unipolar deppression so i could show it to my husband so he doesnt think im over reacting or pmsing or something. what do you think? you said you are going through the same thing with your husband and that you had break downs in front of him. how did he react? does he understand gabbi? i am glad i went to this support group and that i met someone like you who acually gets it you have been a big help to me. im just worried now because i know he looks at me differenty. you can tell when a person starts treating you differently. do you have pannic attacks too? i do i think i have aggoraphbia i dont know if thats how you spell it but bacsically i freak out in crowded places. my sister calls me a hermit because she knows i like to just stay in i cant tell her the truth because you know there are some people in your family who judge. i just told my husband the truth. i had no choice since i broke down in front of him. i dont want to be his charity case though i just want him to see me the same as before but i dont know what to do anymore. like you said "i dont want to be with someone who would leave me anyway" this is true since i stuck by him since hes been in the navy and has gone to the war in iraq when all that stuff was going on but i stayed and not alot of woman could say that who have been with men in the military, its hard. but now i am worried he thinks i am not good enough or that im weak for being this way. what did your husband say when he found out about your depression? what kind do you have? as for me, i have majore depression but i am assuming when i see a docter again he will say i also have some kind of panic dissorder as well like agoraphobia because i hate being around people cause i feel like im being judged and have pannic attacks wich arent fun. like you i also worry my man is cheating for any little reason. how do you deal with that ****? its so hard. please tell me your perspective on it. how do you deal with it all gabbi?