What I have trouble with is the see-sawing from being mad at him to making excuses for him for what he is doing. My husband has always been a very loyal and hard working man. But, this has been a slow slide down. He says he hasn't been happy for years. He pulled away physically and then blamed the marriage. It feels like he is pushing us away but when I talk to him this is what happens. He is very emotional and expreses anger-lots of anger and he says mostly at himself. I will send him a card or call him and then get nothing in return-that is what really hurts. I think that I could wait this out better if he would just do something-anything. I am a very outgoing person. I love all kinds of activities and he does not. He is satisfied reading but most of all, listening to his music. That is his passion. I have everyday normal emotions and he tells me not to get so excited to just keep doing what I am doing but I am really wearing out. I want to get mad at him and force him into coming home, making sure he is on his meds, and going for counseling but I can't get him to do that. It is like he is totally self involved. That the only thing that really matters is himself. The best thing is that I have a very small family but we are very strong for each other. But, I just want my husband back, but I don't think that is going to happen for a long time. I could always get him to come around but not this time.
