Hi Jan,
You might be "down" but you're not "out". I know EXACTLY how you feel; and if venting helps you - vent away....That's why we're all here. Don't feel you have to earn the right by having the worst story.
You said that you were on medication, seeing different Drs etc. so you were "getting enough help". If that were true, I don't think you'd be feeling the way you do. Not all meds are the same anymore than all Drs are the same. I don't think you've found the combination that's right for you. If you had, I think you'd see some light at the end of that tunnel - even though you might still be in it.Your statement " is this how the rest of my life will be?" doesn't sound like there's too much light getting through.
I know, from experience ,that forgetting to take your meds can get you into trouble. I used to think that a day or two wouldn't make a big difference (especially when I was feeling OK). I was proven wrong.
I'm very sorry you're going through this, Jan. If talking helps, no-one here is about to get "sick of you". Keep talking. Kate14
