Hi, Im in my early twenties and have had a bit of a messed up life. I think ive always suffered from some kind of depression and its finally come to a point where i feel i really do need to sort out my head. First thing i want to do is see a councellor but the problem is im a student and im currently abroad for a year which makes things seem so much worse. ive been researching depression and the symptoms seem to be the story of my life, but the one that really made me stand back and thing oh my god, was the compulsive mental rituals. for as long as i can remember ive had this thing where i have to count everything. everything to me somehow involves maths, whether its counting sequences that things can be arranged in or counting how many tiles there are on a wall, i do it. its scared me in the past because theres been occasions when i thought i was turning into rainman or maybe even going schizo like the guy out of a beutiful mind. i found this site and its really helping. i cant really see anyone here so ive gotta wait til i go home but i feel better that im finally admitting that ive got some serious issues that need sorting out. It also makes me feel better writing this and knowing that there are others out there like me. Sonia
