Thanks everyone.
I guess I could ask myself why would anyone want to know me since I find myself...and fill in the blanks. Maybe I was feeling sad. At another level, anyone is fine the way they are, by virtue of their unique qualities and history.
I don't wish to bring anyone down, but sometimes, that's just where I am, like being in water, but I buoy back up, and can swim, to continue the analogy.
I'll also say that I had to be present enough to even notice what others said in that exercise class, since in the past, people have probably tried to reach me through my barriers, and I just wasn't present enough to notice.
I'm glad, even though it's taken a long time, that I am present some moments. I couldn't focus this morning at church, but I could "hear" the sermon.. It's just that sometimes those monkeys inside my head increase their noise level. Maybe arriving earlier is better, so I'm going to alarm my watch to ensure I have some peace on sunday morning too.