Hi Everyone, thank you for posting.
I was afraid you would suggest bipolar, yet somehow relieved, because Mum and I have been thinking that ourselves. His GP said he's not willing to change his medication, so our main priority at the moment is to find someone who is. This morning I woke up to him crying and he was writing in his journal. Mum went out and I was left with Dad, which was okay but left me exhausted. He let me read what he had written and it didn't make any sense.
When it first started, we thought it might have been dementia, which runs in our family. He talks a lot about things he hasn't gotten over from when he was a child, and how he's got all this pent up anger. I was in hospital last year with someone my age who had schizoaffective disorder, and saw her highs and lows. I can see some similarities with Dad. I'm also worried about the hereditary side of such illnesses, will I suffer something like this in the future?
Hugs, I know the feeling with that. As they're racing when they talk, you feel you have to race to keep up as well. It makes me anxious when this happens too. Exactly, I've been depressed before too and there were times when I have flown into a rage. Does it make Dad any less of a person because he hasn't been able to cope with these things on his own? I do still live at home with my parents, due to my own anxiety problems and at times that's made me feel stuck. I can't ask Dad to leave, I can't leave myself and I can't force Mum to choose between us.
You're not a hypocrite Hugs!
Ashley, we have spoken about these things a few times. His psychologist now understands there is a serious problem, and has contacted his GP who refuses to deal with his medication. Dad sees his psychologist again next week, so I'm hoping she can refer him to a psychiatrist and they can work together with him. I'm not sure how I can protect myself. I try to distance myself, and dissociate from him, but I find by dissociating from his feelings, I'm also blocking my own.
I think what I need to do is focus on improving my own health, as I have a long way to go, and hope that he will get the support I have for himself soon. My new psychologist is fantastic, and she surprised me yesterday by asking what my relationship is like with Dad. It caught me offguard. I hadn't realised it was so obvious.
Davit, people with bipolar and schizophrenia do have a tendency to go off their medication. I tend to think of mental illness as being divided in two, with anxiety and depression in one group, and bipolar and schizophrenia in the other, in regards to treatment and medication.
Thank you all for your support and responses. It's helped me work through this.
Kaitie.