Since doing this program I have learned to be more aware of my thoughts and feelings. Little tiny steps brought me to a huge realization about panic attacks caused by wind... which I would berate myself over... until the tiny steps led to connecting tiny dots that led to me remembering the intense winds that were blowing the night of a devastating earthquake that destroyed the city I was living in at the time. Suddenly this stupid, absolutely no reason for it, panic about high winds....well, it made sense. Now, when the winds are raging (like yesterday... 65 mph sustained wind) I can tell myself there is (metaphorically) no bear outside (or destroyed city) and know it is true and calm myself. I'm not perfect at it yet, but it is so much better.Also if you can't see it or hold it in your hand it is not there, you just think it is.
) I agree 100% with Davit. You are on the right track. Keep coming back. Keep posting. It WILL get better. Actually, I envy you your ability to cry. I have a hard time with that... I think it is a good release... even if it annoys you.... Let it go sweetie... there always is a reason... Sometimes, our bodies seem to know what we need better than our minds do. Just a thought. Hang in there. We ARE here for you. 
