Hi Mehdi. Your post is the first and only one I have read. My very limited understanding of Bi Polar is that a person has big highs and big lows. When you say you have been feeling this way for almost a year now, do you mean high or low?
Oh Budgie, I understand the reaction of family and friends that want to help. One time recently when I was crying my husband comforted me for a few minutes, but then said "this is too much, this can't be right... this is too much".
Hi Johnny. I kind of like being alone. The popular movies and TV shows portray that as sad or wrong, but some of us just need more time alone. I personally don't think your body weight/size matters. You are an emotional man regardless, which is a gift and a curse at the same time.
I had ptsd from an ATV crash. I would see it so vividly over and over again. If your ptsd is from something much more severe, I don't mean to belittle your experience. I am only offering my point of reference.
Hi Missionim, oh my goodness your post touched my heart. Nothing makes me more anxious and stressed than any threat to the relationship with my child! Mom's aren't built to deal with that! I have felt the panic that those threats can cause. I think for you that although your children are reacting with fear now, they will actually grow into extra compassionate children/adults because they have seen first hand how hard anxiety can be for someone they love.
I have 20 years experience managing anxiety and panic dissorder. I've used medication seasonly to help me with my difficulties. My panic started when I was 20, out of the blue. I was so confused about what was going on. Fortunately I sought counselling help that essentially got my life back with medication. But in the past 6 months, I have lost my Granny, a friend (suicide), and my step-father. I am taking my usual medication, but I am sad beyond that. I have "supplemented" my medication with alcohol; which has destroyed my self esteem.
Your comment - that you have nothing to be unhappy about. I can relate to that. I think many people feel that way. How do we break through the self-promotional walls that isolate us? It seems that admitting we are sad is akin to admitting something is wrong with us. Which is not true. Sooooo not true. We are good people, feeling sad.
Your comment about needing to rebuild your old friendships caught my eye. I've had the same guilt. But mabey we need to open ourselves to new friends that match our current life outlook? I'm not sure. My old friends know me from childhood and teenage years. I think the reason they feel so close to our hearts is because we were more emotionally open when we bonded back then. When we try to bond as adults, it seems lots of stuff gets in our way. Fear of judgement being my biggest one I think. Fear of betrayal. Not easy for anyone. Please know that I hear you.
Hi Curls, I'm close to your age and not new to depression either. I tried to reach out to my friends on Facebook about my sadness over the holidays. I wrote that I didn't want to have to pretend to be happy this Christmas. I felt embarrased after I posted it, even though my friends wrote sympathetic things. That made me feel kind of pathetic. Sigh. You mentioned that you have to be careful to avoid depression - but I don't think depression works that way. I think that corporate advertising is a negative in our lives, because it makes us feel like we are failures if we don't "connect" with people over the holidays. I don't really like connecting with people at the best of times, but Christmas has the added pisser of making me feel guilty about it. Hang in there.
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