Hello,
I am new to this site but not to depression. I feel like I have had recurring bouts of depression since I was a child. I am now in my 50's. I feel as if I will never overcome this feeling of being sucked of all joy and reasoning capabilities. I have decided to try this site because for the last three years I have noticed a pattern when my depression starts to creep up on me in November, because I dread the holidays. I don't have a family that I feel I can talk to about my feelings. Contrary, I feel like I have to put up a strong front, otherwise not only do I have to deal with my feelings but worry about parents who would not know how to deal with it and say all the wrong things. And this depression continues to deepen in January and February, and from notes I made last year, it was April and I was still struggling. Basically, depression is never far away, and I have to be very careful to avoid it. But I feel like I am not really aware of what I am doing wrong until I am in the depths of the depression. I miss out on so any things because my depression makes me wan to isolate myself. I wonder who I would be and what I could do if I could learn to keep depression at bay for good. I hope that it's not too late for me. Thank you for your support.
