"Why can't suicide be glamorous?"
Hi all, it's been awhile. Everything takes a long time for me to absorb, learn, and use, I suppose. My take on this topic is such:
My "fight or flight" instinct switch seems to get stuck in the "on" position. When I'm more mentally stable I am able to reason through an unsetteling situation (using the techniques I've learned here.
When I'm not doing so mentally well I'm either going to be stubborn, insist things are as bad as my mind makes it, or I'm going to run away from the situation.
Suicide can't be glamorous because in the end, it's running away. Permanantly. The thought of not having to deal with the messes I've made or imagined is a day-dream.
It takes such a tiny amount of time to end it all, but after that initial thought of escape, the the thoughts of family and friends left behind and the pain they would be left with snaps me back.
After dealing with all of this depression, anxiety, etc. for this long, I know I can make it through dark days again. Suicide is for cowards.