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Posts created by Kera7

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

characteristics of depressives

OMG! That's me to a T! Anyway, I'm learning through desparation and more therapists then you can shake a stick at; it's true that my relationships seem to go down the same path. Lately, I feel like the runaway bride. I'm learning my role in allowing or facilitating that to happen - so I can become the real person that I am supposed to and dying to be, not just twisting myself trying to be my own version of the perfect mother, daughter, girlfriend, etc.... Now, I am learning to find who I really am, and going forward to better myself. Sometimes, it's like my brain has a little tourettes or something, because I'll have some unreasonable bad thought, blurt it out before it really sinks into the brain first, then an arguement generally ensues. I'm hoping that the faster I get at recognizing that, the sooner I can eliminate them.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

highs and lows

Hi Null! You sound like my daughter with the "what if" game. You're good at torturing yourself that way. It's the negative voices. My boyfriend is one of those "practical" types. He's always stressing that "It is what it is, and it ain't what it ain't." It helps me to focus sometimes. At least as far as relationships are concerned. It reminds me to take a good look at what I actually do have, instead of fear what may become of it. Working with a really awesome new therapist. I've been living in fear, worried about what might happen to the extent of missing out on all of the blessings I have now. And it it ain't, no burying my head in the sand, it ain't.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

"Why can't suicide be glamorous?"

Hi all, it's been awhile. Everything takes a long time for me to absorb, learn, and use, I suppose. My take on this topic is such:

My "fight or flight" instinct switch seems to get stuck in the "on" position. When I'm more mentally stable I am able to reason through an unsetteling situation (using the techniques I've learned here.

When I'm not doing so mentally well I'm either going to be stubborn, insist things are as bad as my mind makes it, or I'm going to run away from the situation.

Suicide can't be glamorous because in the end, it's running away. Permanantly. The thought of not having to deal with the messes I've made or imagined is a day-dream.

It takes such a tiny amount of time to end it all, but after that initial thought of escape, the the thoughts of family and friends left behind and the pain they would be left with snaps me back.

After dealing with all of this depression, anxiety, etc. for this long, I know I can make it through dark days again. Suicide is for cowards.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

creative writing...

Hi Wildcat!

I enjoyed your writing. I tend to identify well with animals, too. Serenity in nature, remembering that I, too, am a part of it. Thank you.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

just started today

Hi Swuffy,

I, too have suffered from panic attacks. The exercises here will help you. I've found that using the daily activity/mood chart really helps me to avoid

my triggers. I've learned that things tend to escalate until the attack happens. For example, when an attack was starting I noticed that I would get

stiff through my shoulders, arms, and it would radiate from there. The sooner I realize that one is starting I try to relax through my shoulders, etc.

I haven't had one for a long time, I've chased them off (hopefully forever). Also, don't worry about bumming us out. We know, we've been there. We

found solace and understanding here and wish you the same. Don't be afraid to get it out, you never know who will read it and think, "I'm not alone!".

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