I have been reading messages on this site for quite a awhile but I think that it is time for me to come out in the open. I drink way too much. Every day. For many years. I know I need to stop but I don't know where to start. I told my family doctor - that was a huge step for me. I've been advised to consider residential treatment but I have young children who need me around and wouldn't understand where I'd gone. My doctor told me to start building a support system. Although I know lots of people, I don't have any close friends and my husband would not be a helpful support. I'm hoping that the connections I make here will be a start. I've thought about attending an AA meeting but I'm terrified of seeing someone that I know. Any suggestions for first steps?
I have been diagnosed with borderlien osteoperosis even though I am 47. My doctor says that it is related to my alcohol use. Has anyone else had this problem?
I wish I were at the point that I could say that my goal for today was not to drink. I hope that Im not fooling myself or making excuses, but my goal for today is just to be here and post something.
I finally confessed to my Dr how muc I have been drinking and for how long and she advised me to focus on building a suppport network. Friends and family really don't feel like viable supports right now. My doctor asked me who I would tell if I were to twll just two people about my drinking and I kind of shocked myself when I answered " complete strangers".
So strangers - it is probably not enough but I am really hoping that this counts as a first step. I cannot do this alone and Im hoping that there are others out there who are willing to support me on this incredibly intimidating journey. I feel badly that I don't have much to offer others at this time, but if there are others who can help me now, I promise that I will give back when I am able.
I am very new here but deperately in need of some support. I am experimenting with the tools in the toolbox but also need somewhere to talk about it. I am not sure where to post this huge mess of feelings that I am stirring up, I have an appointment with my doctor next week and she has promised to find me a therapist - hopefully that will help.
I just did the cost/benefits exercise and it concerns me that the costs of quitting seem to outweight the benefits right now (although I guess that is why I am still drinking...) I have two young children - one of whom is very moody. My daughter (9)is my greatest joy but also the most stressful part of my day to day life. I am worried that if I don't drink, I will not be able to remain calm enough to help her through her own emotional turmoil. Her moods are so extreme and she seems to be completely dependent on me when she is having a hard time. At the same time -I know that she is old enough now to be aware of how many times in an evening I refill my wineglass.
Thank you so much for your post. I need to learn to think positively. Your comments really help. It can be very overwhelming to consider not drinking every day. I have coped this way for so long.
So you have inspired me to keep posting. Today, instead of trying to imagine a life without alcohol, I'm going to try to imagine a day without alcohol. My kids have swimming lessons this evening which will help to heep me occupied and out of the house. Other than when I was pregnant, I have been drinking every day for about 20 years. I stopped for a week once and then convinced myself I didn't have a problem after all.
I am so disappointed. I tried to go just one day without drinking. I tried to focus on the idea that it was just one day - not forever. My kids had swimming lessons so I thought that it would be a good day to try since I'd be out of the house for an hour and a half. I had almost a litre of wine and my daughter caught me drinking from the bottle. I am so ashamed and scared.
I know that I have to stop. This seems to be getting worse and worse and it's going to harm me and my children. I know that the costs far outweigh the benefits but in the moment, I am overcome by such an intense need that I give in. I need a plan to get me through the first few days. Is there any one out there who can tell me about how they got started?
I just went back and redid all the exercises in the getting started section of the toolbox. One of the strategies that will probably help me get through moment to moment is spacing drinks with a full glass of water. In the past, I have been able to cut back by substituting ice cold ice tea. One step at a time...
I stopped at four. Only because I didn't buy another bottle tonight. A baby step - but maybe I won't fall asleep in the middle of reading my five year old a bedtime story.... I am so sad.... Please keep sending your words of encouragement - it means more to me than you can possibly imagine.
Foxman, tell me about your experience with AA. I know that I need to stop completely but at this point it is terrifying. If I didn't have to be present and emotionally available to my kids it might be easier to go through several days of torture... I am skeptical about AA - the "spriritual" piece makes me uncomfortable.
Does anyone have experience with Women for Sobriety?
Something about what you say really resonates with me. I feel that you understand how hard this is. I am a real loner an I know that I need support to get through this but AA is really intimidating. I have a career working in children's mental health (ironic, I know) and I am so afraid of running into someone I know. I am also uncomfortable with the spirtual piece and the admitting that we are powerless piece. My whole existence is based on the idea that I have the power to make choices about my life.
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