Feel Like Freaking Out

I don't know what happened. I was fine one minute and the next thing I know, I feel like I'm going to lose it. I feel like a cigarette is all I need right now. I am SO uptight and nervous. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep my emotions intact. WHY NOW? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 8 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 71 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $30 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 37 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23

Messed Up...AGAIN

Well, I managed to do it once again, as I ended up going for a pack of smokes last night. I was SO gung-ho about this quit and was actually anticipating it. Once again, I failed (like so many times before) and once again, I let my husband down. This is insane. I was actually looking forward to this quit and really felt that this would be it! All my positive thoughts changed so suddenly! I'm not making excuses for myself, just venting and feel like the failure that I always suspected I was. :( Now I get to start all over again! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 37 [B]Seconds:[/B] 37

Today, I Quit

Miss Weak, I SO know what you mean and how uncomfortable the feeling is, and just want you to know that you are not alone. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39

Ramblings of My Mind

Ok, My quit date has come and gone. As you read ealier, I fell off the wagon, so I have set a new quit date.(7/17). I get sooo tired fighting this, as it's like a never ending battle within myself. With all the failed attempts, it makes me wonder if I will ever be able to do this. I had the oddest dream the other night, which personally I feel is symbolic in this fight within myself. I dreamed I was walking across the side of a bridge. Looking down below was scary so I focused my eyes straight ahead and stayed on the walkway. After I got halfway, the walkway started getting smaller and more difficult to stay on. I looked back and thought, "I can't turn back now", so I kept going further. Then I was close to the other end of the bridge and there was no more walkway, only a huge round steel pole that was in my direct path. I was thinking,"How am I going to get past this thing"? I leaned against the back of the bridge and it started to give way, so I quickly jumped away and tried to go further. I stopped to figure out how I was going to get around this thing blocking me. I was standing on the only piece of walkway left. I could see the walkway on the other side of this pole was wide again and all I had to do was take this huge step without falling and I would make it, but I wasn't sure I could do it. Then I woke up. I can't stop thinking of this dream, and I personally feel that there is a hidden message here, and that it is related to my desire to quit. I want to do this so bad, but then after awhile I always cave when the junkie thoughts come into play. I know I need to strenghthen my resolve, but at this point I don't know what else I can do that I haven't already tried. It makes me wonder if I will EVER be able to give it up for good. At times I feel like I will forever be chained to this awful habit. Whenever I attempt to quit, I feel like somewhere deep inside, something is laughing at me in my attempt. The nicodemon, I suppose is sitting there waiting, snarling, and laughing and telling me that I am wasting my time AGAIN and that it WILL be back. I SO want to get past this. How long will I have to fight before I can finally have the upper hand? It's MY life and I want to be the one in control of it. Maaan, I wish I had never started this stupid, filthy, go

Today, I Quit

Hi, Today I quit smoking, as I am so tired of this being a constant issue. I have smoked for 26 years and have tried to quit more times than I can count, which hasn't done much for my self-esteem at this point in my life, but I feel this time is different as I have actually anticipated this day. I just want to get past the withdrawl, past the moodiness, and finally move on to living a REAL life, one without having to stress about having that smoke. I want to get to the point where cigarettes aren't even in my thoughts and no longer control me. I know I have a ways to go, so I must stay focused and not let the nicodemon get the best of me. I WILL win this battle! :)

Getting Antsy

Hi, I'm doing ok. I walked out on the deck, stood there for a minute or so, and it was like I didn't know what to do with myself, so I just came back inside, turned on the TV, and popped yet another piece of gum in my mouth. But I'm hanging in there. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32

How Day 1 went...

Hi Tina, YEA..You go girl! I was wondering how you made it through your first day. I can so relate to the panicky , heart racing, heart in throat feeling along with the "crazy" thoughts. :8o: Glad you're feeling better today. Congrats! Hang tough. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 13 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 2 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26

Friend!!!!!!

Way to go Tina!

Message for New Quitters

Thanks lady...Congratulations are in order for you as well...381 days..WOW! I'm impressed! :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 0 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

A Full Year of Life Saved..........

WOW Bubba....That's so wonderful....Congrats! :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 0 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0