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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

The effects of nicotine

Thanks, Jim. I find your presence very reassuring. You are helpful, attentive and wise.

I woke up at 1am, in a full sweat, but I felt better. I don't know if it has to do with the patch or something else, but today I feel back up to doing things so I'm glad whatever it was has passed for now.

I took time out to write in my journal to remind myself that this is a sneaky addiction and it will take a while before I feel totally comfortable. I re-committed, using the journey idea. And it is perfect because I'm starting a whole new life up, which is a journey that's very tangible. I've moving to the City, a small apartment that has a little gym, pool and sauna so those things are ways that I can relax and be healthy. After I get settled, I start a new doctoral program. It will be demanding in terms of stamina, back-to-back classes and long days. The material won't be hard for me, but the energy level required will be a challenge. I just turned 50 so I'm not as young as most of the students. I just hope that my quit is far enough along that it doesn't get in the way. I think the excitement of starting a new program and meeting new people will help give me energy.

I have to remember that I'm in transition, both with my quit and also in my life so I'm going to feel uncomfortable at times. This site is really helping me stay committed. When I read how people were when they started and now how they are, I get inspired and realize at some point that will be me.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

Words of Encouragement

I've been told how brave I am for confronting this addiction and fighting it through. I don't feel brave when I'm doing it so that feels really good to hear from someone watching me through the process.

Also what helps is when people affirm that it is difficult and I'm doing something really hard. It doesn't undercut me to hear how hard it is. It makes me feel proud that I'm working at something. Because after all, it is largely invisible what we are doing when we quit. So these things help make it seem more visible and tangible. It's like when you start a weight loss and fitness program, you can actually see the results. It's harder to do that with smoking. It's more internal and so when someone notices it really helps.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

The psychology of smoking and quitting

I realized today in a powerful way something that I thought I knew, but you know how you find out things at an emotional level even when you thought you already knew them? It's like that.

Giving up smoking is giving up my past to some extent. Parts of myself that were glued together by cigarettes, hard times that seemed to only be mended by smoking. Then there is a deeper history. My mother smoked, even during pregnancies, and she was a very aloof and abandoning mother so the smell of smoke is really all I have to relate to.

As I give up this part of my life, I'm starting to feel a sense of loss that I never had before. I'm giving up a maternal entity, no matter how phantasmatic it was for me. I'm also giving up parts of myself. I want to, don't get me wrong, but I wonder about the process and if other feel like I do. Perhaps the sense of loss is also for my innocent self who didn't know any better or was just trying to get through. I don't have all the answers, but I do know that it is not a simple thing. And mourning is necessary for certain changes, that mourning is not always pleasant. But you have to go through the stages to be well and strong again.

I wonder if people have compared giving up smoking to mourning and the losses that result.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

The psychology of smoking and quitting

Well, when I realize that what I've been depending on is not a person or even much of a thing, but a piece of paper with dried leaves rolled up in it, I realize that there wasn't anything there really. And what was there was slowly ruining my health and would eventually kill me.

There is anger there at the addiction, which keeps me focussed on quitting. The mourning part I'm not afraid of. It's about the fact that I didn't have other kinds of support when I needed it. But that is something I'm used to dealing with.

I have become more inspired to seek out support that is genuine. Also realize that sometimes the feelings will happen and they will wash by like a wave so if I just relax and wait it out, I don't even need outside support. I can support myself instead by realizing that things are temporary and won't be too much to handle. That it's all toward a health goal. And it's okay to have feelings about things as they change.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

Introduction

Congratulations! Do you realize you've saved almost $500? What are you going to do to celebrate with that money?

I found going through the program was helpful to me. You may not like that sort of thing, but there's some stuff that is interesting. I liked the Customized Reward Plan. You set up little rewards for everyday, every week, at a month, then at 6 months. I printed it out and put it where I can see it. It's really simple but it helped me. It's like having someone remind you to do things that are good for you. Sometimes I need that outside support to reward myself with simple things.

Good luck. You're doing great.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

What?s your favorite method?

I think it was easiest to quit using Chantix. I started with that, but the side effects worried my therapist so I went to the patch instead. I like the patch because it is so easy. You just put it on in the morning and forget all about it. It gives slow, continuous nicotine, unlike the other methods and unlike smoking for that matter. The problem with it is that there's no oral gratification as is there is with gum and lozenges so I can see that if you want that, you should go with those methods instead.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

What?s your favorite method?

I went off the patch a little too soon it turned out because as soon as I did my anxiety levels went up and I started bumming smokes here and there. So I set a new quit date and started all over again, at first without the patch, but when things got stressful, I put the lowest dose patch on.

The patch in general allowed me to step down from being a regular smoker to not smoking right away. Because I was still getting nicotine, I didn't have all of the symptoms to deal with so I could relax and concentrate on building strength about other things, like an exercise routine, journal writing, and other things that would support me as I weaned myself off the nicotine all together.

I'm almost there too. I only have cravings in the morning which is pretty typical. And occasionally when something happens. But I just give my arm a little rub to remind myself that I have the patch and I don't need to smoke.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

The psychology of smoking and quitting

Thanks. I like this site. The program materials are great and the feedback is all positive and helpful.

I hope if anyone takes anything away from what I said, it is that cigarettes may seem like that friend or glue that you have used as support, but if you really take a hard look at it, they are only a little bit of paper with dried leaves in them that you burn up anyway.

Yet they cost so much in terms of health and money and freedom. It's not really worth it.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

UGH!!! I goofed!

I've certainly had many stops and starts on this journey toward quitting. And I didn't have the situation you're in. Whenever I slipped, I tried hard not to feel bad or blame myself or anybody. I just accepted it as part of addiction and tried to make a plan to start again. If a toddler decided not to walk after the first time it fell down, we wouldn't need sidewalks. Everyone would be crawling.

I don't mean to call you a toddler at all. That wasn't the point. The point is that these things are like learning difficult things and sometimes it doesn't go from A to B with a single step. Perhaps using something to help you substitute the nicotine would help you quit since you are around smokers? I hope you don't give up. This is a really good site; I've tried others. And people really seem to want to help so I hope you post again and let us know how you are.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

The psychology of smoking and quitting

Thanks for adding all your great insights and comments, Working On It! I learned a lot from your response. The idea of writing a eulogy is great. I'll have to take a look at what you wrote and write one of my own. I agree with what you said about the self-destructive side of us that keeps us locked in. That is the main thing I'm facing now. Trying to embrace a healthy life without that. It would seem like a no-brainer, but of course it is more ingrained than that so easier said than done.

I like that you reminded all of us that the detox from nicotine is really only 3 days. The rest is an interwoven set of habits and tricks we have played on ourselves. It takes time to get beyond those, but finding ways to do things differently can displace and replace these without having to go into them too deeply if you don't want to do that.

I'm doing a little bit of both, but it's a choice I'm making. And I have both a therapist and I'm training to be a therapist so I happen to like going into the muck and trying to figure it all out. It's certainly not for everyone. Some people just need to stop and move forward and not look back. And that works for many. I'm doing a little bit of that too, but every once in a while I pause and reflect on what it all means. It's just part of my curiosity and desire to understand. And it gives me a sense of power if I can pinpoint how something works and why it seems to linger. Labeling it, even just to myself, helps me be able to move on.

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