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UGH!!! I goofed!

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UGH!!! I goofed!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

nonic, Thank you for sharing such strong words of wisdom. I can imagine members will be coming back to your post to gain strength and courage on their quit journey.

Brenda, so great to hear the positive commitments you are making towards a healthier you. What are some of things that bring you comfort? Keep up your exercise routine as it is such a great way to strengthen mind & body!

Vincenza, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1904

Ruralradiance, most of us failed the first time (or the first few times). What is important is not beating yourself up. Take responsibility, but don't kick your own butt.

I made the promise to myself many years ago that I would not let myself down. I would make following through on the promises I make to myself, and others, a priority, because I had already been let down enough, and I had to learn to "parent" myself. The world can be a cruel place. (Your husband proved that.) You have no reason to beat yourself up ever for any reason, because plenty of people will do it for you. As a consequence, it doesn't help to have a "****ty committee" that taps the gavel in your head when the tough gets going. I recently made the commitment not to engage in self harm (no overeating, no cigarettes, no bad relationships), to find something that comforts me that is not harmful when things get tough. Actually, I'm trying to run to God. Exercise also helps me to deal with stress. Throwing away your quit, because someone is being a jerk is engaging in self harm and is a little insane, if you think about it. If anyone should have a bad conscience, it should be the abuser.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Ruralradience - I remember doing the exact same thing a few days into my Quit! You are not alone in your self retribution either! It took me three 'slips' just like yours to finally understand the NOPE concept. And since each slip was minor (just a 1/2 smoke or a few puffs) I had enough nicotine out of my system to go for my final Quit. I reset my Quit meter each time I had a puff too. I wanted to start a Quit that purely adhered to No One Puff Ever! Many good posts here to support you and help give you a little perspective on what you are up against here! Good Luck in coming back and learning from this. You are doing just that by posting here! Go for it! We'll be here to cheer you on : )

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 792

Wow ! Very Powerful (and sensible) post nonic. Thank you.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

ruralradiance:

Well I say that you did the right thing, in the first instance. Instead of staying where you where, you walked away from the situation. That was good and you should be proud of that. I understand your sense of failure with regard to the second course of action. There is nothing worse than setting our mind on a goal and then having our progress blunted by an unfortunate situation. But fear not, you are not the first to take a step back into this addiction and I dare say you will not be the last. But instead of beating your self up over the incident, why not use it as a learning experience. If you do I promise you that your coping skills will be greatly enhanced. Never forget that cessation is a learning process and sometimes we have to get knocked down a bit just so we can learn to stand up again.

For years and years and years we have used cigarettes as an escape hatch. Those little round sticks have been a way of regaining ourselves when the world tells us we are nothing at all. We enjoy the ritual of handling the smokes, we relish the act of lighting one up and most of all we love the fact that the thin blue veil of smoke has the power to allow us a sense of safety when emotional chaos comes calling.

But think about this...We where not born doing this. Somewhere along the line, we taught ourselves to seek the protection of this addiction. We practiced our rituals until the rituals became ingrained behavior. And once that was done the substance itself insured that we would come back to it time and again by exploiting biological functions of our bodies. Take some time to study the physiology of this addiction. Understand that nicotine is able to mask itself as a very important neurotransmitter in the brain. And it is this process that allows nicotine, a substance foreign to the human body, to release "feel good" substances into our bodies. It is these substances that give you the sense of well being that you so dearly crave in times of crisis. Just as you did in this most situation. But I promise you that as you become more and more aware of why you smoke, you will find your key to cessation...In many ways we are both the jailer and the prisoner...We must seek the strength to demand the keys to our cell from ourselves...

This is a very difficult and complicated addiction. But it is not so convoluted that we can not find our way out of the forest. The first thing to realize is that just as we taught ourselves to smoke, we must teach ourselves how to end our relationship with the addiction. And this is the road upon you have wisely set your feet.

I do hope that you will come back and discuss your situation with the folks here. There are many compassionate souls on this site who struggle as you do. Find people here with whom you resonate. They are here and I know they are waiting to help you stand up again.

stay well

nonic

Quit Meter

$66,612.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1374 Hours: 12

Minutes: 49 Seconds: 39

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6344

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

190,320

Cigarettes Not Smoked

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

I've certainly had many stops and starts on this journey toward quitting. And I didn't have the situation you're in. Whenever I slipped, I tried hard not to feel bad or blame myself or anybody. I just accepted it as part of addiction and tried to make a plan to start again. If a toddler decided not to walk after the first time it fell down, we wouldn't need sidewalks. Everyone would be crawling.

I don't mean to call you a toddler at all. That wasn't the point. The point is that these things are like learning difficult things and sometimes it doesn't go from A to B with a single step. Perhaps using something to help you substitute the nicotine would help you quit since you are around smokers? I hope you don't give up. This is a really good site; I've tried others. And people really seem to want to help so I hope you post again and let us know how you are.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 270

Ruralradiance,

Don't let this slip drag you away from your quit! You can always choose to remain smoke-free and start over again.

What are your motivations for quitting? Reminding yourself of these may be a helpful practice to schedule in from time to time going forward to keep you on the smoke-free path.

Sonia

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

Hey there,

You can still work with what you have. Since it was only 1 smoke (hopefully), you can probably complete detox in less than 3 days at this point. it won't take long for that inner addict to make use of all the nicotine and then you're free.

It sounds really hard to try to quit with a spouse who is actively smoking and not being at all supportive. I'm sorry that you two can't work together on this.

My roommate is a smoker, and I went through my quit while he continued to smoke. In fact, he still smokes now. I'm not quite sure how I detached form that. Just decided to stay in my own head and not worry about what he was doing. Of course, I have the option of escaping to my own room when I'm feeling edgy. And he wasn't calling me a B---- during those detox days.

...Makes me wonder if you should just get yourself a room for a few days and tell him to deal with the kids and the house while you're detoxing.

Quit Meter

$22,572.45

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 603 Hours: 10

Minutes: 50 Seconds: 53

Life Gained
Quit Meter

4383

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

87,660

Cigarettes Not Smoked

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Ruralradiance!!!

Take a few minutes and try to relax and PLEASE do not beat yourself up about this, OK??? Quitting is one the hardest things you will ever do in your life and it is especially hard if you do not have the complete support from your loved ones! Rest assured though that we will never judge you and will always be here for you!

I know it may be hard after going through this experience, but try to keep a positive outlook on life and on your quit! This is something you want for yourself and yes, there are going to be times that you are going to be emotional. You need to let your husband how bad you want this quit and how much you are going to need his love, support and understanding! He also needs to understand that you are going to do your best to keep a positive outlook, but there are going to be times that it is going to be especially difficult for you and he may just need to back off and give you your space! Get this off your chest with him and hopefully he will be more understanding after this!

So, the biggie here is are you ready to get back up on that horse and start kicking that demon's ash again? Good!!! I was hoping you would say yes!!!

Well then, let's get 'er done, shall we? What we have learned here are the concepts of HALT... never get Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired! Anger was the trigger and you need to figure out your coping mechanism for dealing with that! How about coming here and posting about what is bothering you? Maybe with a big ol' glass of ice water and some deep breathing!!! Our old saying here was post before you cave and wait for 5 replies! BY that time your crave will be over and you will have gained strength knowing that you were able to beat that crave and that you can do it again if that situation arises again!

We're all here for you Ruralradiance!!! Please put a smile back on your face and keep on telling yourself that you want this more than anything!!! Kick that demon's ask, ok?

Jim

Quit Meter

$44,310.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1060 Hours: 13

Minutes: 43 Seconds: 44

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5908

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

177,240

Cigarettes Not Smoked

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 10

Guys! I lost it! I was doing so good and on day 3 when my husband and I got into it. After he told me I was being a B@#* I went outside! :( *tear* I hated myself even while I was smoking! It is so hard when everyone around me smokes. :(

Quit Meter

$7,761.60

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 409 Hours: 7

Minutes: 46 Seconds: 49

Life Gained
Quit Meter

4312

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

25,872

Cigarettes Not Smoked

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UGH!!! I goofed!