Julie,
I can only share my experience. Upfront I will tell you Alcoholics Anonymous is something one should seek on their own accord, if somebody forces you, or if you are doing it for someone else it will not work.
And also its for alcoholics. There are hard drinkers out there who may abuse alcohol but they are not alcoholic. An alcoholic is one who left on his own resources will drink again. However, in AA we have the 12 steps. The 12 steps helps us grow spiritually and that allows us to live a normal live without ever desiring a drink. Occassionally though a thought may go through our mind (it may happen when we are reading a magazine that has a beer/whiskey ad or when watching a football game on TV and they are littered with beer commercials) but we don't obsess over alcohol. It no longer runs our life.
A Hard drinker, may on the other hand may just need little therapy and support like these forums and they can lead a perfectly normal life. Whereas an Alcoholic goes insane. He/she cannont handle the emotional stuff, becomes restless irritable and discontented, depressed anxious, you can add few more. And as days goes by he/she explodes and forgets the consequences and picks up that incidious first drink. Then the phsyical craving kicks in and then drinks way beyond he/she originally planned.
There are lot of mis-conception about the fellowship today, because the members themselves don't work the 12 steps, instead they rely too much on meetings. They have converted AA meetings into group therapy, they started sharing their feelings. It doesn't work. Alcoholics need a pshycic change. So he/she may handle life-situation at ease. Meetings only give temporary relief. Thats why there is constand fear among AAers today. There are those who work the 12step and those who don't. Therein lies the difference.