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100 days today

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Oh. And after 10 days of drinking, I managed to pull it back and stop on Wednesday. Got to the point where I was drinking at lunch break and people were noticing. I realized I'd really pushed it too far and for one thing didn't want to lose my job, but also it's just such a **** life to live.

I'll be OK now for the next few weeks until I go to the retreat. There I'll be able to reassess things a little better.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the feedback. Good to see some lively discussion going. We are all passionate about what's right for our recovery and that's a good thing.

Here's the link to the retreat I'm going to. I picked it because it takes a holistic look at life doing some meditation, yoga, healthy eating, workshops (addiction, relationships etc). I also chose it because it's the only one I can afford right now. As someone mentioned earlier, a retreat can cost you well over $10,000 for a month. Of course you have to balance the quality of what they offer (and who offers it) vs. what you pay. With the email correspondence and looking through the website, I'm satisfied I'll get what I need, which is time out to reflect with some guidance from others that have been through it or have experience in the area.

http://www.newlifethaifoundation.com/

They do offer access to the 12 step program (but don't rely only on this recovery type). As I've said in other threads, I'm not overly interested the 12 step program because I'm an atheist and cringe at hearing people talking about God or their higher power all the time. However, I will go with an open mind as there are many benefits of the 12 step program e.g. a strong community of like-minded people that understand what you're going through.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

OMG, now its resentment against the whole treatment industry! You know why they subscribe to the 12 steps? Thats the best the got so far, otherwise, they would have offered it. What are going to do about it? Go against the whole treatment industry? And suddenly you believe in there is something called Alcoholism? Thought you don't like labeling.

Also I talk from my own experience and never trash other recovery modalities. Even now, I state, let them all use what ever out there and if it doesn't work, let them try AA. And I don't gaurantee recovery like you do with your limited experience. I just suggest that the newcomer may read the book and see if they can identify with the concepts.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Oh, I see..... now, in your godly, self-righteous way, you differentiate between the trauma's of growing up in psychologically abusive home (as in alcoholic) and reduce them to "these low level anxiety issues" that have no bearing on the triggers or problems that are driving this addiction. That it has to be something as heinous as rape or molestation. The arrogance and dismissiveness of that statement appalling. You might want to start choking back some of that rhetoric you're quick to disperse. And I have news for you, the industry is based on 12 step programs, whether you believe it or not, and frankly, the idea is over-done.

You may want to stop trying to hijack peoples posts when something comes up that YOU perceive to be not 100% in line with your glorious 12 step program. I'd say if anyone has a conditioned mind about dragging 12 steps into ANY conversation that would be you.

Here's my suggestion.....Let it go.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

By deep scar i meant rapes, molesting and not these low level anxiety issues. And even these deep scar, some people I have heard overcome that. Its for those people that need extra help we recommend outside help.

BTW the person just mentioned he is going on a retreat. And your conditioned mind was draging the 12 steps into discussion. Don't be so resentful of a program that has helped millions. You share your experience and lets others share theirs.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

A77734,

100 days is really great! You can be proud of that for sure. I had something similar happen to me when I reached a milestone I jumped back into the bottle then struggled for a time but, have found my way back. It's kind of like (for me anyway) , look I made it to XX days I can do this. So now let's make sure I can still drink. Our AV will try anything to suck us back in. I had to finally make my resolve again to not play with sobriety but look at it as a way of life. Sounds like you are doing that with your retreat. That's great that you are going and that you have the time to really stop and take a look inward and heal. Good job!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

"There is a saying "Dont judge the book by its cover". Looks like your views are of people who just read the 12 steps off the wall..."

Actually, this comment is rather judgemental, especially when you follow it up with "If it is real deep scar, we in AA recommend they seek concslling (counselling)...." which fundamentally agrees with what I said.

A77734, my point was (and as the poster seems to agree below) that we need to address the underlying drivers of why these triggers exist, understand where ether come from, and not just rely on a specific program to solve the problem, even when the program helps. These drivers have deep historical roots. The fact you see no valid reason for the trigger, yet the trigger exists, should be a strong indication that you need to delve deeper into the fact it happened. Perhaps starting at what you said " I was out with a girl and she was drinking and I guess I wanted to fit in... or maybe be on the 'same level' as her...." is a good place to start. Knowing that this mindset is a trigger unto itself allows you to prepare for it, work through it, and learn to understand it.

Keep us posted on the retreat. I hope it is of great benefit and provides a holistic approach.

All the best,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

There is a saying "Dont judge the book by its cover". Looks like your views are of people who just read the 12 steps off the wall.

Its a fact-finding and fact-facing process. Victims dont recover, they remain in pain. If it is real deep scar, we in AA recommend they seek concslling. But atleast they know what is blocking them. The inscessant thinking. What others did to us, how I am going to get back at them..... Once we figure that out, we start working on forgiving ourselves and others who were by the way un-conscious (in a figurative way). And we don't expect GOD to remove the short-comings. We work at it. Thats why we have rest of the steps. Going into tenth step it says we commenced this way of living, were we watch, ask, turn, pause. All these are to not dive into the old behaviour. Stay conscious, awake and grow in effectiveness.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Yes, Jake, I know what Step 4 is. As I've said many times in the past, I've read the Big Book and all of the steps, etc. And there is nothing wrong with making an inventory of the things the one feels is creating the problems. So why call it a "searching moral inventory"? There is nothing immoral about having a problem like not fitting in. Or social anxiety. Or the lasting effects of being abused as a child. These are traumatic conditioning and isn't related to morality. And yes, we use alcohol a coping mechanism. As has been said by many here, including supporters of AA, alcohol isn't the real problem. If step 6 "were ready to have God remove all of your defects" works for you then that is great. Personally, I needed to work through them myself and resolve them rather than having a supernatural being take of it for me. Yes, resentment is a problem and is unhealthy however you cannot lump all of the problems under the label of being a resentment. The drivers for an alcohol abuse problem are much more complex than that descriptor.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

Would it not make sense to focus on the reasons why you feel you don't fit in and understand and resolve that? You will find this out if it is "Just a 12 step program". It's called step 4. Reveals your resentments.

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100 days today