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$44,265.00
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Days: 1059 Hours: 11
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Cigarettes Not Smoked
I like Jims advice, in the morning, (or when you wake up, which is usually noon.....for me, hey,,,,I am artist, I usually paint all night........huh???? I have a good excuse) anyway the advice to tell yourself, just for today.....I am not going to smoke,,,,,,,,,,every time I am around a smoker and I don't give in, I am amazed at myself. But I think I am going to apply that piece of advice to myself, when I wake up,,I will tell myself that,,,,,,just for today, no matter what I am not going to smoke,,,,,,,,,,there are still some times I have a strong craving,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,that's probably normal..........I am hoping..........as for taking zyban,,,,,,,,,,,you know when I first started my quit, I tried the gum and patches, they didn't work, but they helped me cut back a lot, so that when I did quit 21 days ago, I was more prepared,,,,,,,,,you can think about quitting like your practicing your getting ready for the big break with the nicodemon.........think of the nicodemon as an ex-girlfriend who has cheated on you, lied to you, and broke your heart,,,and decide once and for all that your not taking her back, okay that's sorta how I did it, I said to myself,,,,,this nicotine addiction is like being with a boyfriend I want to break up with,,,,,,,,,,,breaking up is always hard, no matter who it is, that's where will power comes in, and a little anger too is helpful, according to some things I have read, your not supposed to quit with will power, but I don't agree, I think you have to bite the bullet sometimes and that takes will power. (maybe I am wrong on this, and Jim will tell me if I am.) I am sorry I am rambling but this is about the time, I start pheening.....12 am......and I find myself here at this website writing paragraphs of my thoughts on stuff, and it helps me to work through my addiction too, cuse you see, this is a huge deal for me, a major life change, a major accomplishment, (more important than getting my degree) I NEVER thought I would be able to quit, and stay quit. And I love this website cuse I see that there are other people who are going through what I am going through and I don't feel so a lone. I know EXACTLY what your going through,,,,,cuse I am going through it too!!!!!!!!!!!!! your not a lone. I am going to tell you something revealing about me here, okay, I am mental,,,,,certified...no kidding, so when I was in my 20s I was in a hospital for being mental, and I wanted a cigarette so bad, that I went off, and they put me in 5 point restraints,,,,,,now I am not lying to you, the only thing I wanted was a cigarette, they kept me in restraints for 5 hours....there were many times that smoking was the only thing that made me sane.............honestly. But always in the back of my mind I knew I was slowly killing myself, and I knew there was a part of me that was suicidal, and wanted to die, and smoking seemed like a good way to get there. So you can see, that this is a huge deal for me. So I understand why its a huge deal for you too, Nick. To admit that smoking is killing yourself, is the first step toward recovery, your going to go through changes,,,,,,,,,your going to be spacey, listless, at the end of your rope,,,,,,,,,,,the only thing I hope for you, is that you realize your not alone, and that its okay to feel messed up for a while, and to still have cravings...........I don't know how long you smoked for, but its a killer addiction.......that is hard to break, but worth it......okay so now I am preaching to you, sorry, keep posting, and know we are with you in spirit. Jules
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