Well, a part of me thought that I could just sneak out of here without being noticed. That same naive part of me also thought that I wouldn�t miss this place or that as soon as I left I would quit caring about the people here. Well, none of these things are true, of course. Even though I left the site, I am still quite the lurker here and Duffis� post tonight really struck a chord with me. Sometimes, it�s all too easy to get angry about things that happen here. We start to take things personally and that can be somewhat dangerous, but it�s also what helps us all to be able to help each other quit. Afterall, if we didn�t care about each other, then the SSC would fail to be successful in its mission to help people quit smoking. We MUST care about each other, at least on some level, in order to be able to help and be helped in this fight against this horrible drug. Accountability becomes an extremely important component of the quit, and if we didn�t care at all about each other, we would be less likely to maintain our quits. So, we start caring, we build connections, and that opens us up to being vulnerable and taking things personally and getting hurt in the process. I guess all of these things happened and I found myself in a difficult situation� I didn�t want to stay to get my feelings hurt again, but at the same time, I found it extremely difficult to just walk away. Since leaving the site 2 weeks ago, I started living life as an ex-smoker and not just as a quitter. I believe all quitters hit a time in their lives when they start to rely on the SSC less and less and live their smoke-free lives more and more without needing to check into the site everyday or every week. It�s the natural progression of quitting, and is most certainly a good thing. However, this has not been easy for me. The junkie in my has been working overtime lately saying, �you can smoke now� you don�t have to reset your meter since you�re not a member of the SSC anymore.� The accountability that this site offers is really, really important to successfully staying quit. I�m starting to wonder if I will ever be able to live a smoke-free life without the aid of the SSC, but for right now, I know that I cannot. I had a brief lapse of judgement a few days ago. My boyfrie

First of all, Lady, I didn't lie to you. We haven't talked since this happened. I've been trying to get a hold of you so I could talk to you about it, but....... ;) Cheryl, yes, I lost my bracelet the day I had surgery a week ago. They took it off of me because I couldn't have any jewelry on and it got misplaced. I didn't realize it for several days after the surgery... probably because I was on pain meds, but I've looked for it and it's not where I thought I put it, so I think it might be gone forever. :( I'll just have to get another one, but I want to wait for a special anniversary to do that. Softmountainrain, I understand where you are coming from and respect your opinions, however I have thought this through and at least for now, I am not changing my mind. When I was a smoker, I hated people judging me because I smoked. I felt as though I lost out on friendships because I was an addict. I didn't [i]like[/i] being an addict, and I hated smoking, and yet I was being judged constantly for something that I'd decided to do many years ago. I don't feel as though when I was smoking, I was deciding to smoke each time... I made that decision as a stupid kid and was paying the price for it several years later and I hated that. So how can I judge somebody else for doing the same thing I did? How can I cast him away when I hated it when people did that to me? I can't. At least not right now. Let's just say that this is a situation that I'm thinking a lot about and while I respect your opinions and understand where you are coming from, I'd prefer not to debate the "date a smoker" issue on this thread. That really wasn't the purpose of the post and I really haven't decided one way or another what I'm going to do in the future, but yes, it is an issue I am considering, but if I do end something, I don't want it to be because some people on a website convinced me to. However, I appreciate your opinions. :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 269 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,734 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1110.97 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 31

Sharon, I'm not trying to prove a point to anybody. And, I'm not really defending the "date a smoker" issue either. This is a non-issue as far as I'm concerned. I wasn't asking for advice as to whether I should continue to date somebody or not. Of course I know the dangers of it. I'm sure if you want to get really resourcefull, you could go back in time and find countless posts where I have advised against dating a smoker. I'm not defending it, but I really don't feel as though I have to justify my personal choices here. It's something that I'm aware of. I know the dangers and I also know the consequences and I will make the best choice for me, one way or another. Thank you again for your opinions, but I'd rather not continue the discussion. Thank you. Crave the Quit! Pam [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 269 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,735 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1110.97 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 47

Glad you are back because I loved reading your thoughts and you helped a lot with my quit and I know you can help a lot more with my continued quit. Thanks for coming back. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/19/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 35 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 356 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $70 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

ButterflySwimmer, welcome back :)Marie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 41 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 628 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $164 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 30 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4

Ah THERE you are! I was SO wondering where you had been. I was thinking perhaps you had been on holiday. then i thought well surely she would be back by now? So I wanted to post some kind of where are you ? thread... but i couldnt because i am not allowed to do that here.. so I was still left wondering what had happened to you (and I missed your posts too). Here you are again!! Its VERY good to see you again Pam! :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 42 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,070 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �315 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 33 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

I was wondering where the heck you have been! [IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/Daniwiz/no20smoking20sign.jpg[/IMG] Or don't even think of not thinking about not smoking here. heh! ;p Welcome back! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 73 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,206 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $292 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 31 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

Butterfly Swimmer, Welcome back to the SSC! We are always here to help you with anything, even if you're only here sporadically. We understand that every quitter begins to drift from the SSC, it's a cycle. Only you can be the judge of whether dating a smoker will be a trigger for you. Obviously, from your story, he is supportive of your quit. Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I'm sure many members will benefit from this thread! Danielle ________________________ The SSC Support Team

Welcome back! Stay close! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/15/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 70 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,408 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $315 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 16 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39

Hello Pam, I don't think you owe anybody an explanation. Glad you're well. CobenFan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 121 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,066 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $423.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 45