Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Mother's Day is coming in a few weeks!

AABBYGAIL RUTH

2024-05-15 10:52 PM

Depression Community

logo

Addiction

Lynn123

2024-05-15 9:17 PM

Managing Drinking Community

logo

Challenging Worry - Worry Time

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-05-14 3:33 PM

Depression Community

logo

Fibre

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-05-06 5:05 PM

Healthy Weight Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Browse through 411.753 posts in 47.056 threads.

160,633 Members

Please welcome our newest members: GCAJULAO, RPABIA, TEBON, SJOLINE GEL, Duncan Brown


15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My father... was diegnosed with heart failure

Sheba, so glad to hear the update and that he will be doing okay.  I hope he decides to take care of himself.  But if he chooses not to, you can't make him, be prepared to accept that.  It can be a tough one to deal with.
 

15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi from windsybarbie

Windsybarbie
 
Welcome, look forward to seeing other posts and replying and vice versa.  Hope you find the site as useful as I do!


15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My cat

Diva, sounds like you had an awesome cat in Oscar.  And Charlotte sounds precious too.  Of course, distinct personalities!  Makes me remember my cat, I called him skunk, he had a stripe like a skunk except it was on his belly.  He had me trained!  lol
Thanks for the stories.  I am sure Oscar is at peace and happy.  
 
Keep those memories alive! 
 

15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Feeling low

Julie, we don't mind hearing your issues.  That helps us in our recovery too.  Please don't hesitate to write.  I know that is one thing that helps me (music makes me cry)!  We are all different.  I'm also sending a virtual hug, rest assured, if I were there, it would be a bear hug with a big shoulder! 
 
 

15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My marriage is in crisis...

Rose306, I teach that addiction is a disease.  That the thing that we are addicted is a symptom of emotions that we are bottling up and find relief and an escape from those things we don't want subconsciously want to deal with.  There are many things that  can make one predisposed to addiction, for example, race, genetics, environment, age at first use, traumatic events (rape, incest, anything tragic).  However, addiction as a disease is one theory.  There are many.  I know you mentioned that you smoke (if I remember correctly).  The premise is the same.  We use our smoking to deal with (me personally) anxiety primarily. There is a Biopsychosocial model of recovery that discusses the addictive nature of substances, the psychological (emotional and negative thoughts) and social aspects.  It is common for addicts to eventually isolate.  I see many parallels between depression and addiction.  There are two theories that I am aware not both are called CBT but are based on most of the same premises.  I know there are more, but the brain just let's me retrieve so much information at a time. 
 
Alcohol is processed differently in a person who is an alcoholic than one who is not.  The addictive nature of other substances causes them to alter the chemical (neurotransmitters) in the brain.  They affect many of the same neurotransmitters as those that are affected by depression - serotonin, norepenephrine, dopamine and epenephrine,  you can get more complicated than that with the chemistry of the brain....but I get lost too much further than that.  There is some connection between the pinneal gland and addiction as well as depression.  Low self-esteem is often seen in people recovering from addiction, now whether that came first or the addiction, I'm not sure about.  There is alot of guilt, shame, resentments, fears and hidden behaviors as a result of the addiction.  So people are kicking their own butts (this sound familiar too?).  
 
geez, have I scared you off- I always rattle on.  It's an escape mechanism for me and I recognize that!  woo hoo
 

15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I gotta get this done

Rose306 I agree that the validation and need for reassurance are part of codependency, however, I also believe they are exacerbated by the depression - or vice versa.  What do you think?
 
By the way, I did tell my brother thanks!  He wasn't an ******* today(I left that part off)!  He did say he wished I'd called him earlier, but it was in the context of that he would have helped, not that he was scolding me for not telling him.  I told him, I didn't know what his reaction would be(a big step for me).  You know when Dad dies, it is just me and him and I wish we were closer, It seems when momma died that he and I got a bit closer, then back to "normal".  I am trying to focus on the fact that I have my son, his wife and a new grandbaby if he doesn't want to be close to me.  He is just like my mother, shows no emotions, stoic most of the time and deals with things so much differently than me and dad - we've always been the emotional ones in the family.  Dad more so as he got older.   My brother and his wife look down on me - you could ask them and they would be brutally honest and answer affirmatively.  It is NOT a negative belief.  It's just fact.  They buy into the stigma's attached to mental illness - I'm weak and feels sorry for me (again, he verbalizes this, it's not a "in my mind" thing).   Idon't need pity, I need understanding! He's missing out on a relationship with a very loving and giving person - me! 
Okay, rambling again.  I hope the doctor talks to me tomorrow and if not, they'll take the info and act on it.  If not, my brother and I got a job ahead of us.  but at least it is US and not ME.  

15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Motivation needed.

Julie,  so glad to hear that you exercise and want to start back.  If you only do a 1/4 mile it's a start, then build from there.  sounds like to me you are accustomed to riding more than that, but you know as I do, once we start exercising we feel better, mentally and physically and you'll continue on your journey.  When I first started exercising after I became depressed and finally used my treadmill, I walked 3 minutes.  I worked my way up to 45.  Now I have done like you, stopped again, but if all I can do is three minutes I'll celebrate that for today or maybe exercise more than once today....either way, I'm on my way to feeling better and ultimately losing weight. 
Happy cycling!!!!! Wear a helment! 


15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Motivation needed.

Julie, congratulation on your 3 mile bike ride.  I look forward to hearing about your next one this week! 
15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hya, I am new and sad.

Julie, I agree with Rose 306 you do need to see a doc and it sounds as though you've reached that conclusion as well.  I recommend a psychiatrist.  I don't know where you live so being able to tell you what is available is not possible.  In the US all 50 states have comprehensive care centers, medication programs, etc.  If you live elsewhere, I'm not familiar with the health care systems.  You may be able to use a "find  a physician" type program on the web.  Remember also, that with any physician not all shoes fit, make sure it is someone you feel comfortable talking to (may take a couple of visits to figure this out) and also someone who will LISTEN to what you are saying. 
 
Also glad to hear I am not the only one with a bunching bag and gloves.  It helps with the frustration and anxiety.  lol, now I know why Rose306 always uses the !  

15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hello there

I hope you don't mind the nickname Roy, because I can't remember all that from when I read it to here!  I like the pic too.  Let the healing begin maybe mild sarcasm, but it's also the truth....it's time to start and I think you've found a great place.  I am not too much into organized religion, but find my spirituality to be a great asset in the healing process.  Hey, I can use all the tools I can get!  And that one helps me too.  I would like to hear more about you as well!  I hope you stick around and use the program. ....and the healing does begin!