Just wondering how your surgery went? I was thinking about it today.
And also, is the 67 in your nickname for the website the year you were born? My Mum was born in 1967 :)
I do fear waking up in the night to a certain extent. I quite often wake up during the night and can't get back to sleep. My problem isn't getting to sleep, it's staying asleep. Are you able to identify what exactly you are worried will happen if you wake up, or what it means? Waking up during the night isn't something to fear in itself. Are you worried about hearing noises when you wake up, such as thinking there may be an intruder in your house? Do you fear you will wake up and be alone? Once you can pinpoint what it is your afraid of, you can start using CBT to find the evidence as to whether that thought is true. For example, with the worrying about an intruder being in your house you might look at how often you have heard of people waking up in the night to find someone in their house compared to how many you know who have never had such an experience.
Do you actually wake up during the night, or are you just worried it might happen? There are some techniques for dealing with your anxiety once you have woken up. I always have some water beside my bed, and my window is always open. Fresh air helps. Maybe you could get up and go for a walk if you would find that relaxing. I usually have a magazine to read or a puzzle to do as a distraction. Anything that will help you to relax, as I said before, waking up during the night is nothing to fear in itself. It's mostly your thoughts and reaction to when this occurs.
As Davit and Sunny have said, personal contact with people you meet on the internet may not be very safe. You can never be too sure. There is generally people on here almost 24/7, so most of the time if you post in this forum someone will reply. I'm from Australia so midnight for you is about 3pm the next day for me, so if you're awake in the night I might be on here :)
People can be so frustrating at times! I think some people take loyalty for granted, and maybe she is taking advantage of the fact you will always be there. One thing I guess you have to consider is, if you were to become closer friends, would it always be this way? Will you always come off second best with her? She doesn't sound very trustworthy.
The other advice you have been given is a great idea, remove yourself from the equation and you're less likely to feel hurt :) Your happiness is important, and sometimes you have to work out when to let go.
I find that what makes me panic the most is not having an easy escape, and this applies to pretty much every situation I avoid. With shopping centres, or malls as they're called in America, it's not how busy the shop is but how far away from an exit a particular store is what frightens me the most. I'm worried that if I have a panic attack or start to feel faint or nauseous, all of which have happened, I won't be able to escape the shopping centre and I'll throw up or faint or everyone will notice that I'm feeling anxious and make a big deal of it, which will make me panic more. I think the whole escaping part of it is that when I'm in the fresh air, I start to feel better. And also, if I vomit or faint or whatever in the car park, it won't be as embarrassing and it'll be easier to clean up.
I find that these worries are always with me, even when I'm doing well. When I go shopping and am walking around for a while, and don't really eat much while I'm there, my blood sugar tends to drop which makes me feel nauseous and faint etc. and I always make sure I'm prepared for that with a bottle of water and a source of sugar. At the times when I don't listen to my anxiety as much, this doesn't stop me from going out. I generally don't even think about it, just take my bag and go.
But at times when I'm struggling, as I have been for quite a while now, I start to catastrophise the situation. Such as I tend to think, "I couldn't bear having another panic attack" or "It's too much of a risk. What if I go into the shops thinking I'm okay but once I get in there I start to feel really sick?"
It's hard because it feels like just as I start taking those gradual steps, I really do become sick and then I'm back to square one. I will have to keep moving on though. You feel sick for a while, but once you feel better again, you move on. It isn't worthwhile to dwell on it forever :)
Shari, your story with the driving is really great. Good on you!
That sounds like a great idea, nature is a beautiful thing and although I didn't live in the 70's, hippy is still cool! haha
I wouldn't go as far a chaining myself to a tree because one tree isn't going to make much difference, in the end we need to think bigger and longer term to make an impact.
Public speaking is so much fun, especially for a debate- the more controversial the better! :) And it's so true that when you shake away your nerves and just start speaking, you stumble less and appear more confident. I'm almost certain that even professional speakers are nervous just before making a speech. That's the whole thing with panic disorder too, you have to feel your fear but do it anyway :)
I'm sure you'll enjoy volunteering at the animal shelter. Mum won't let me do it, I would want to bring home all the puppies!
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