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I read in another thread that you had gone several weeks without alcohol. That's awesome. :) I hope things are still going well for you. I understand your concern you addressed in this thread. I, too, had the same concern when I decided to give up alcohol. My wife rarely drinks but all of my friends drink. Watching them being able to drink a few drinks, or no drinks, on occasion made me question my own relationship with alcohol. I was rarely able to just drink a few drinks and never was able to not drink when around friends. My friends seemed able to do it with no difficulty which confirmed to me that I did not have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Alcohol was in control. I was not in control of alcohol.
Initially, my plan was not to give alcohol forever. I told my friends that I wanted to take a break from alcohol for a while and they were very supportive. They even agreed to not drink when we were together. I didn't want them to do that. The issue was mine, not theirs. I looked at them drinking as something similar to a healthy person being able to eat sweets and a diabetic not. Or a person without food allergies being able to eat whatever they want while a person with a food allergy not. I realized I just could not have alcohol. Period.
Yes, it was hard, but it gets easier. The longer you're without alcohol, the better your body feels. Sometimes you don't know how bad something is until it's better. I didn't realize how bad my body felt until I had gone a few months without it. That is what made me complete the advised 3 months without alcohol.
grapeseed @ Jan 27, 2021 4:43:45 PM
Thank you foxman. "I realized its our own mind is the one that tricks us into drinking. " I like that, thanks again.
Most of the time, toward the end of the drinking career, I became a recluse. Drinking got me there. Knew others where not keep up to my pace and on the other hand felt guilty, shamed and remorseful come out of occasional parties. It was a vicious cycle. Trying to stop without the knowledge of my condition was excruciating. The worst part was the phase were we want to not drink but the mind would just not stop. Later came to know its the obsession of the mind. And in that state, the person is incapacitated. Gets restless irritable discontented like the book Alcoholics Anonymous talks about. Its a very awkward/dangerous phase. And then the mind sneaks in and in that state all we are looking for is the effect produced by alcohol. And we take a drink. Then something happens and we want more. This is the cycle we need to get out off.
I entered the fellowship of AA back in september 2006. Initially I was worried about people drinking around me. But working the 12 steps AA, I realized its our own mind is the one that tricks us into drinking. External circumstances/people dont influence that decision. Using the principles of AA, I am able to lead a sober life.
How do you all deal with friends who drink?
A few close friends of mine drink. They are good people and I like spending time with them but I cannot remember a time I was with them and didn't drink. I have been avoiding them since I quit. It hasn't been too difficult due to Covid but I am wondering what I will do when covid is not longer a valid excuse. I want to be able to spend time with them, I don't want to tell them they can't drink around me but being around someone who drinks will be very difficult for me. I am just wondering what other people did who were in similar situations so I can get a better idea on how to handle this.
Thanks in advance!