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I Slipped


17 years ago 0 24 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
gonnadoit, I love that term "serial" quitter. Fits me perfectly. Thanks for the smile! Nico [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/16/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 3 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 67 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $12.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23
17 years ago 0 24 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Reading all this brings back memories of all my failed quits. I always had a "reason" to smoke again and of course they were totally lame. I blew a 6 month quit once while going through a divorce. I was totally stressed out and I wanted to smoke. I'm not sure why I thought it would make ANYTHING better. I really thought that a cig would taste terrible and I would cough and choke and maybe even get sick. Unfortunately, because of my state of mind, it seemed to be the best smoke I had ever had. That is why I know I am a total addict that cannot afford to slip this time. I once had the "few cigs that I had forgot about" that I found. The truth was, I DID know about them. I was fooling myself. I'm not saying you knew you had them, but you did manage to find them in the middle of the night. If they hadn't been there, would you have gone out in the night and bought some? I'm glad I live in a tiny town with no open- all-night stores or I would do just that during an extended night crave. I'm really good at convincing myself that a few cigs are okay. THEY AREN'T as you found out. Don't beat yourself up. You are quit again and that's all that matters. Think about how many you DIDN'T smoke the last few days. I too am on meds and there are things I can't take. I do have the inhaler and it helps and I wish you had that aid, but thousands of people have quit cold turkey and I believe for many it is the best way. I just don't have enough trust in myself to do it. I for one am with you here. I'm early in my quit and the best way I can help you and myself is to remember and relate the things that made me fail in the past. We can do this thing!!! Just stick with us here. We all need to hear about the slips as well as the successes. Everything is part of the learning process. Hang in there!!! Nico [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/16/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 3 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 67 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $12.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 52 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25
17 years ago 0 969 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Tutti, Keep in mind that we are all only one puff away. In fact, my secret stash of 2 cigs is in my car, out of sight, but there for security. I am hoping on day 7 my reward will be to give them a proper burial, if I am ready. Ok, so you slipped. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again. You can do this! Everyone on this site will help you. I had one sleepless night when the urge was strong, and I just started reading the posts until it passed. Must have read about 100 or so, but I didn't smoke. Keep trying, its worth it! MomMom [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/14/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 133 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $19.4 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30
17 years ago 0 848 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Tutti. There are some other resources that might be helpful for you. There's the Alan Carr book - can't name it directly here, but lots of us have read it for education/inspiration. I also found a good on-line "course" that's free to use and was very helpful in learning how to deal with your feelings towards smoking and how to deal with craves. I should prob go reread through that section periodically, too! ANyway, don't think I'm allowed to give you the web site here, but if you can get onto the IM I can get you the info. I'm going to launch it now. Good luck! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/29/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 21 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 258 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $85.68 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 56
  • Quit Meter

    $119,552.36

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6402 Hours: 0

    Minutes: 41 Seconds: 8

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45414

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    408,726

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

17 years ago 0 848 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Tutti - I really feel for you because the same thing happened to me a week into my quit. It was an overwhelming craving that started (upon later analysis) the night before and like you said seemed to be one long continuous crave. Not like the 5 minute ones you hear about. But what I learned is that you have to learn how to cope with those kind of craves and to resist them. Once that nicodemon knows it can break you it will keep trying. The only way to break the cycle is to be prepared and fight back. It helps to remind yourself that you don't smoke anymore and that a cigarette is just out of the question. Don't even deliberate about having it. Also - come to this site and read and read and post and read some more. It has helped me so many times. Talking about it helps diffuse it, too - whether you talk to your husband, a friend or the wonderful members of the SSC. Don't give up trying, just give up smoking! You can do it. :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/29/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 20 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 252 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $81.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41
  • Quit Meter

    $119,552.36

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 6402 Hours: 0

    Minutes: 41 Seconds: 8

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45414

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    408,726

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

17 years ago 0 932 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Heya Niks, I'm on day 4. Thank God this week is getting closer to the end. I don't want to feel that failure from the 14th quit again. I'm on with this one and yesterday was pure hell. My knuckles were white from hanging on so tight and of course, every one on this site flocked to me to encourage me. Today is better but, the withdrawals are still there along with the cravings. Not as bad as yesterday but they're pretty aggravating. I keep expecting them to get worse, like I'm looking over my shoulder. Under the forum Coping with Withdrawals, you'll see my post called, Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me. That was from yesterday. That day, I won't forget anytime soon. Tutti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 254 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $11.16 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34
17 years ago 0 932 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Nonic, I'm now entering into Day 5 and I'm still hanging in there with no desire to throw in the towel on my quit. I started over once, I won't do it again. This time has been far more difficult, hell in fact, than my Valentines Day quit. Day 3 was horrible. I'm sure you've seen my post, "Gloom, Despair, and Agony on Me." ha ha ha I can laugh now but it was NOT funny at all on Day 3. It was a living nightmare filled with one constant, relentless craving and painful withdrawals that absolutely exhausted me. The cravings and withdrawal symptoms were still with me on Day 4 but not as bad. Nonic, I have no idea why I smoked for 30 years. I know I STARTED smoking because it was the "cool" thing to do. Smoking because I thought it was "cool" was enough to turn me into an addict. If there's an underlying "issue" or "issues" that I need to confront, I'm not aware of them. As far as I know, I started smoking because I thought it was "cool" the "In Thing" to do and that's enough to get kids addicted. Then that addiction is extremely hard to break as we all know. I'm assuming that I smoked for 30 years because I'm an addict and I allowed, in fact, I invited cigarettes to be a part of damn near everything in my life. I'm sure cigarettes eventually became a crutch for when I was anxious, nervous, sad, angry, or even happy. But I'm still not aware of any underlying, painful "issue" that needs to be dealt with there. As far as I know, those are all emotions that I chose to share with my good ole buddy the smoke. So, I felt a sense of loss without by buddy. Plus, I'm an addict. You may or may not be right...I don't know. I guess that's something I'll find out in time. But, I'm one of those people that doesn't believe that there has to be a deep, dark, issue behind every problem in life. Often times problems, addictions, and bad choices can be caused by something very simple. Something right there in plain sight without a great deal of deep analysis, probing, or philosophical reasoning. For example: An ignorant, naive kid who thought she looked so cool with a smoke hanging out of her mouth while she hung out with her pals.....her pals who all smoked. I don't blame my parents either. ha ha ha Sorry guy, I just can't find that underl
17 years ago 0 932 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well, I didn't think I would but I slipped last night. After all of the positive pep talks I gave to myself and after all of your encouragment, I had a sleepless night and was so bored. I found three cigarettes in a package that I didn't know was still here and I smoked them. I'm very embarrassed, disappointed, and mad at myself and I know I've disappointed all of you as well. Right now, I'm kicking myself pretty good because all of my hard work since Valentine's Day has been undone. Yesterday it felt like the cravings weren't just coming and going but rather one, long craving that lasted throughout the day. So yesterday evening I went to bed early with the thought in mind to sleep through the cravings. But I woke up in the middle of the night, since I went to bed so early, and was so restless and bored that I caved in. I found those three cigarettes and felt so relieved but when I lit the first one, I knew I had set myself back to square one. Right now, I feel very defeated and I'm trying to regroup. Like I said on another post, I keep looking all over my house for a place that isn't a trigger for me and they're few and far between. Not only do I live here and made the mistake of smoking in my house but my husband and I have a home based business so there are even more trigger points for me. The computer being one of the biggest triggers. I feel that I need to get out of the house more but that's so hard for me to do when I'm here working on books and answering the business line. Then after the office work is complete, my regular household chores begin. So I'm trying to work it out in my mind just what I need to do avoid all of those triggers which happen to be all around me. My quit has to be cold turkey. I can't take Chantix because I had a seizure 24 years ago and have to take medication to keep from having another one. My doctor doesn't want me to take anything that effects the brain. Like Nicotine doesn't? Nicorette gum and the lozenges are out of the question as well because I'm diabetic and on insulin. Both products have warnings that diabetics shouldn't use them. I'll reset my quit meter for tomorrow, the 19th, since I actually smoked those three cigarettes after midnight. This time, I'll take in a lot more wat
17 years ago 0 932 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
N2K, keep telling me things like that. Now, that's what I'm talking about!! I don't know if I have an "emotional" attachment to cigarettes. I guess I do or I wouldn't suffer the "mind games" that I suffered when I quit on the 14th. But, I have no idea what type of emotional attachment I have or where it comes from. I guess I'll learn that over time. You're right though, it IS my life....MY life. I like hearing that and it makes me feel stronger. Thank you for that. Tutti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 60 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2.79 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 50
17 years ago 0 932 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you FreeMom!! Wonderful words of encouragment. I'm up on the hoss again and Lord, I hope I won't get bucked off again. I'm digging in. Actually, I have my arms and legs wrapped around that hoss!!!! Keep writing me. I really need the encouragment. Tutti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 57 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2.79 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 39 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51

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