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Where Does The Heart Go When There Is Nowhere to Hide


nonic
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9 years ago 0 nonic 880 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hey Christina
 
Oh, this was something that came out of a letter I recently wrote to a very dear friend of mine.  She had just lost her Dad ( a very interesting and intriguing man) only to find a week later that her Mother has inoperable cancer. I was at a loss for anything to say to her.  
 
Part of the letter addressed this idea of where the heart goes when there is no place to hide.  In her situation, there is literally no place to go but to continue on in faith.   And she will, as she inherited a very tough, practical and compassionate nature from her Dad.  It's a tough go for her now as she must sort out her Father's estate, begin to grieve her Dad, care for her Mother and at the same time face the fact that as executor for both of their wills make certain that all provision be made for her siblings with regard to her Mother's assets.  She is squeezed between emotional melt down and practicality.  Those two things do not make good bookends.  She literally has no place to hide...
 
But I kind of liked the phrase and was just thinking through what it meant as I was reading some of the recent posts. I think it is always imperative to understand why we do things like getting addicted to nicotine.  There is always a reason for it...Nobody smokes because we like tobacco. We smoke because we want nicotine and we want nicotine because it does something for us, that we believe we can not do for ourselves...And that last bit is the biggest lie that we willing accept as addicts...
 
In any case, I do hope that this weekend is better than the last and that you will find peace with your current situation...
 
 
stay well
 
 
nonic   

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1294
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 38,820
Amount Saved: $13,587.00
Life Gained:
Days: 253 Hrs: 7 Mins: 4 Seconds: 50

  • Quit Meter

    $50,421.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 1095 Hours: 7

    Minutes: 53 Seconds: 56

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    4802

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    144,060

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

cristinas
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9 years ago 0 cristinas 251 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
And again, I am left wondering how come I did not come up with this. Thank you Nonic. Food for thought, like always.
Keep the quit
Cristina

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 10/5/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 279
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 9,765
Amount Saved: $1,269.45
Life Gained:
Days: 26 Hrs: 12 Mins: 47 Seconds: 42

nonic
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9 years ago 0 nonic 880 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Good day fellow travelers:
 
It breaks my heart to read through many of the posts here.  That is so because I hear the anguish and understand the pain that cessation's path requires.  For so long, as addicts, we played a game of hide and seek. When trouble came our way, when people's actions and unforeseen events sent daggers through our very souls and anger, rage and sadness cut us like a knife, we ran and hid behind that ever present thin blue veil. We metaphorically put our hands to our eyes, inhaled the vapors and swore no one could see us there.  And in many ways that was true. No one could see us there, because we internalized the pain we felt and eased its sting by bathing our wounds in a good old nicotine bath.  And we did in that way become invisible. 
 
However our invisibility also stripped us of our opportunity to confront the source of our indignation, our hurt, our sorrow our grief.  By rendering ourselves invisible, we lost a million chances to grow stronger in our own hearts. We let go our opportunity to forge a stronger bond between our internal world and the external world. We fell victim to the ageless fear of the forest.  We wrapped ourselves in the soft folds of addiction. We did not stand up for ourselves, we failed to practice gratitude for the life we have been given, we did not speak calmly to our aggressor, we did not reason with our partner, we did not address that which brought us so much pain.  And the world heard no more from us.
 
But where does the heart go when there is nowhere to hide?  The truth is that the heart needs no place to hide.  The heart (self), that which you know yourself to be requires no excuse for existing. You are the product of a gardener of vast skills.  You have a right to grow stronger, you have a right to seek the sun, to stand tall and be proud of who you are.  You are a living breathing creative being who has something to add to the cosmic conversation.  Do not silence yourself through self inflicted addiction.  When the heart has nowhere to hide it must grow stronger, it must gain the confidence that comes from accomplishing difficult tasks, it must grow in compassion because it already knows the sting of rejection.
 
Remaining addicted is tantamount to destroying the vessel (body) in an effort not to experience the soul (self).  Cessation is a chance to engage yourself, find new ways to deal with old problems.  It is a second chance.  Take hold of it today, tomorrow and on all your remaining trips around the sun. 
 
 
stay well
 
 
nonic             

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1294
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 38,820
Amount Saved: $13,587.00
Life Gained:
Days: 253 Hrs: 6 Mins: 43 Seconds: 32

  • Quit Meter

    $50,421.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 1095 Hours: 7

    Minutes: 53 Seconds: 56

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    4802

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    144,060

    Cigarettes Not Smoked


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