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Where Does The Heart Go When There Is Nowhere to Hide


red ryder
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11 months ago 0 red ryder 5 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Powerful, thank you. Am going to read this often to remind myself of why I should never smoke again.
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Sparrow1975
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a year ago 0 Sparrow1975 175 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Original Post by: nonic
Good day fellow travelers:
 
It breaks my heart to read through many of the posts here.  That is so because I hear the anguish and understand the pain that cessation's path requires.  For so long, as addicts, we played a game of hide and seek. When trouble came our way, when people's actions and unforeseen events sent daggers through our very souls and anger, rage and sadness cut us like a knife, we ran and hid behind that ever present thin blue veil. We metaphorically put our hands to our eyes, inhaled the vapors and swore no one could see us there.  And in many ways that was true. No one could see us there, because we internalized the pain we felt and eased its sting by bathing our wounds in a good old nicotine bath.  And we did in that way become invisible. 
 
However our invisibility also stripped us of our opportunity to confront the source of our indignation, our hurt, our sorrow our grief.  By rendering ourselves invisible, we lost a million chances to grow stronger in our own hearts. We let go our opportunity to forge a stronger bond between our internal world and the external world. We fell victim to the ageless fear of the forest.  We wrapped ourselves in the soft folds of addiction. We did not stand up for ourselves, we failed to practice gratitude for the life we have been given, we did not speak calmly to our aggressor, we did not reason with our partner, we did not address that which brought us so much pain.  And the world heard no more from us.
 
But where does the heart go when there is nowhere to hide?  The truth is that the heart needs no place to hide.  The heart (self), that which you know yourself to be requires no excuse for existing. You are the product of a gardener of vast skills.  You have a right to grow stronger, you have a right to seek the sun, to stand tall and be proud of who you are.  You are a living breathing creative being who has something to add to the cosmic conversation.  Do not silence yourself through self inflicted addiction.  When the heart has nowhere to hide it must grow stronger, it must gain the confidence that comes from accomplishing difficult tasks, it must grow in compassion because it already knows the sting of rejection.
 
Remaining addicted is tantamount to destroying the vessel (body) in an effort not to experience the soul (self).  Cessation is a chance to engage yourself, find new ways to deal with old problems.  It is a second chance.  Take hold of it today, tomorrow and on all your remaining trips around the sun. 
 
 
stay well
 
 
nonic             

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1294
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 38,820
Amount Saved: $13,587.00
Life Gained:
Days: 253 Hrs: 6 Mins: 43 Seconds: 32

That is so beautifully written. Thankyou. I am reading to prepare for quit day tomorrow.
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Timbo637
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a year ago 0 Timbo637 722 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Bump up for new quitters...and want-to-be quitters.
Start on the last page from the bottom up. Good reading.
Nonic has a wonderful way with words. His wisdom shines as bright as the sun.  
Stay Strong.
 
Not One Puff Ever 
 
 
 
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Working On It
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7 years ago 0 Working On It 1140 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Wow. That brought tears to my eyes. 
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Red1
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7 years ago 0 Red1 2502 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hi Jim! Thanks so much for the bump..
 
I had forgotten about this profound writing by Nonic from two years ago..I was so touched by it then and by it again today..It was like reading for the first time...
I really needed to read and hear this today..Perfect timing..
 
Red...
 
Hot SiO2
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7 years ago 0 Hot SiO2 2773 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Hello Quit Buddies!
 
       I'm bumping forward another awesome post from one of my favorite quit buddies here.  I'd like to hear your thoughts on this post and I bet Nonic would too!   
 
              Jim 
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nonic
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9 years ago 0 nonic 880 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Kaiser:
 
Wow you are just tickin those days over now...Time just seems to fly by these days...Here you are just about to complete your second trip around the sun smoke free...Ain't that a kick in the head...
 
 
stay well
 
 
nonic

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1298
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 38,940
Amount Saved: $13,629.00
Life Gained:
Days: 254 Hrs: 3 Mins: 0 Seconds: 25

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    Days: 1067 Hours: 2

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nonic
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9 years ago 0 nonic 880 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
anjel:
 
Well thank you very much...I tend to be a bit bombastic about this subject, but it is one for which I have great passion.  Cessation brings on many changes in us.  But for most of us it can be a difficult slog.  Thank you for joining us here.  You will find that there are many caring people around this site.  They are so because they understand that people who seek to free themselves from this addiction need a great deal of support.  I did and I found a great community here...You will too.     
 
I do hope that you are doing well and that you are proud of the 53 days that you have thus far clocked...I know it can be difficult sometimes.  Come often to this site and tell people how you are feeling and what you are discovering.  Everybody's journey is different, but there are many common themes, you will find a welcoming group here...
 
 
stay well
 
 
nonic 

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 1298
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 38,940
Amount Saved: $13,629.00
Life Gained:
Days: 254 Hrs: 2 Mins: 59 Seconds: 47

  • Quit Meter

    $49,119.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 1067 Hours: 2

    Minutes: 47 Seconds: 53

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    4678

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    140,340

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

anjel
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9 years ago 0 anjel 38 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Thank you for posting nonic.  Your writing is beautiful.
My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/23/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 53
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 530
Amount Saved: $156.35
Life Gained:
Days: 3 Hrs: 17 Mins: 10 Seconds: 56

kaiser
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9 years ago 0 kaiser 1386 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo
Great post Nonic.  I am sure that many people including myself will find a message in here that we can keep.
Kaiser

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 7/30/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 713
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 17,825
Amount Saved: $891.25
Life Gained:
Days: 138 Hrs: 22 Mins: 54 Seconds: 34


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