Quit Meter
$52,334.37
Amount Saved
Quit Meter
Days: 1209 Hours: 1
Minutes: 7 Seconds: 24
Life Gained
Quit Meter
5786
Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter
173,580
Cigarettes Not Smoked
Quit Meter
$54,400.00
Amount Saved
Quit Meter
Days: 769 Hours: 10
Minutes: 0 Seconds: 26
Life Gained
Quit Meter
5440
Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter
217,600
Cigarettes Not Smoked
Peteg,
I don’t think your experiences are all weird at all. I know from my quit that what you speak of in your last quit where you started smoking again after 9 months is like what I’m going through right now. I have been doing pretty good on my quit and out of the blue I’m getting that slow kind of crave (just like you said I’m not going to the store to buy a pack over it). I think for me I’m looking at the HALT signals that maybe one of these are activating the feelings I’m having right now. You might look into see if any of these are coming up for you and to try to alleviate them. For anyone out there that doesn’t know them they stand for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. If you have any of them going on in your life then watch out because they can lead some to setbacks in peoples quit. The other thing that I would say that came up for me after about your time period is that you still more identify with being a smoker than a non smoker right now. Remember you smoked for 3 years straight since your last quit and you’ve stopped for 40 days. Even though the physical part of the addiction is mostly gone, part of you still identifies with the smoker that you once were. It’s like you still identify yourself as “the smoker” even though you are not your past. Even though you have consciously decided you are no longer going to smoke, there is still that old pattern that feels comfortable with what was. I like to just call it your old self trying to cling on to what it still thinks is who you are (that same sticky smoker). Therefore it tries to lure you to thinking to get on with it (to smoke), because your going to cave down the road. I think the reason we do this is we think we are what we have recently been in the past and that’s how we map out our reality of our lives. We have such an investment in defining who we are that we take it to extremes. Even though we are changing for the better of our new self, we still identify ourselves as that past person and it feels like we are falling apart when we make big changes like you are doing. But of course it’s just the map that’s changing not you. Therefore it’s normal for there to be some upheaval when you make these changes like you are doing right now. Just remember it’s not something to get freaked out over it’s just a natural defense we have. I would just say to watch it and just let it be ok. I would just sit with it, let it do its little drum beat. Also realize that as time goes on the new self as a non smoker will be more familiar to you and you will not put up so much resistance as now. You’re doing great and what you are experiencing is quite ordinary, it sure was for me. I can tell you my car story some time, it’s almost as funny like yours. Keep the quit. Ron