Wow guys-- those were great posts and everything that I needed to hear. I just got home from a very long day. I spent most of the day white knuckling it, and thankfully was extremely busy with other people's problems. Really, hearing that everyone goes through this stuff periodically helped tremendously. You all also helped me shift my perspective on it.
When I was driving home from work, I came to the realization that perhaps there are going to be days that will be just as hard as some of the days during hell week. I guess I'm just getting used to it being easier, and not really expecting those hard days anymore.
Geez-- Bonnie, how long does it take before our neurotransmitters start working properly again??? I want my dopamine back! :) And I've been following your posts..... I know you've been going through it too (more hugs for you girl).
Mr. Q, your thoughts were very accurate, and helped me look at this from a different perspective (which I needed). I really appreciate the thought and time you put into that post. The image of the tiger stopped me in my tracks (and actually helped me feel calmer about this) ....and freespirit :) I was happy to hear from you.... you also helped me remember the nicodemon is still at large.... he gets trickier and trickier. Mike, you are no nonsense and absolutely right. And hugs Kelly..... I will keep taking it one day at a time and keep looking for that day when I come out the other side. It's helpful to hear it lets up eventually.
I won a vacation about 5 months ago, and have been sitting on it waiting for something "special". I really haven't done too much with the whole reward thing and I think it's time. 50 days smoke-free is special enough. So, today I booked the hotel about an hour up the coast.... fireplace, private hot tub overlooking the Pacific. And I'm going by myself with a really good book. I already arranged for a sitter for my little guy. Moss, you're invited if you wanna come practice your new moves :) Of course, that's only if the girls on the cruise will part with you for a weekend. I doubt it. The word on the street is that you're gettin' pretty good with your cabana endeavors.
And I will try finding the original post-- thank you for letting me know about that.
Off to rest my bones.....
hugs to all of you. Thanks again for helping me screw my head back on and keeping my quit strong.
Deb
My Milage:My Quit Date: 8/18/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 52
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,248
Amount Saved: $374.40
Life Gained:Days: 5
Hrs: 4
Mins: 48
Seconds: 19
It is different for everyone as to when you reach "it" - it happens gradually really....suddenly you realise that you haven't thought about it for ages. So I can only ask you to be philosophical, and know that it is OK to have some bad days. 
