jazphoto
Yes i understand this...for me it was a different subject, though...I am not a psychologist and am not giving you any advice or direction on this, but I will tell you my subjective experience in this area...
As the nicotine left my body, I began having very intense and obsessive reactions to past life events. These were things that I thought I had handled.
For me (and I am not saying this is true for you), memories of my divorce from a very good and wonderful partner came down on me like a ton of bricks. I began speculating on what I could have, should have and maybe didn't do to change the outcome of that very sad chapter in my life...Keep in mind that this occurred a number of years ago in a different country and a very different place.
And for me this was because the nicotine had tamped down the pain of seperation and I lived in a nicotine dream for a long long time...However, that type of thinking has to be managed as well...You are doing the right thing...go and seek professional help and see what they say about your situation...
Remember, nicotine acts on the minds perceptions, and that is both a strength and a weakness when it comes to dealing with the quit...Here is something I wrote along the way that may explain what I mean...
Smoking has been a part of me for a long long time. And make no mistake; I have been its willing companion. An amazing magician is this substance.
When I was hurt it told me everything would be alright as long as I didn't actually feel the pain.
And I believed it.
And I never learned to grieve.
When I got angry it told me everything would be alright as long as I didn't defend myself.
And I believed it.
And I never learned to communicate.
When I was afraid, it told me everything would be alright as long as I never tasted the fear.
And I believed it.
And I never learned to cope.
When I was happy, it convinced me it was my friend as long as I took it to the party.
And I believed it.
And I never felt total joy.
You are doing the right thing is seeking professional coucil in this area...These are very individual and delicate threads of the phyche that you are dealing with...Let them help you to help yourself...
I hope this helps...
You sure are beauti