I Set My Mind Against The Tide
I set my mind against the tide,
as a sailor sets a sail
straight into a westward wind,
that soon became a gale.
The harbor lights were far behind,
when the sky bled blue to gray.
The chop was fine and coming fast
and my boat began to sway.
Broadside and true she took each wave
and fell to meet the next.
The troughs were deep the angles steep
my thoughts were dark and vexed.
And in that hour the taunting came,
from deep within the storm.
Derision scorn and vile blame
took endless ghostly form.
Loathing lingered on the deck
as doubt engulfed the mast.
And from the east, a tiny speck
flew toward me from the past.
Larger loomed this bird of prey
in silence loud and clear.
With stealth and guile it ruled the day
for this was cold dark fear.
Fear stretched out a deadly claw
and danced with doubt and scorn
around the sail I’d bravely set
they mocked the oath I’d sworn.
The bitter wind grew stronger still
as hopelessness appeared
and played a mournful melody
for doubt and scorn and fear.
“Come join the dance” the storm intoned
I know you know the steps.
“I’ll bring you peace” the wind exclaimed
“with one more cigarette.”
But just between the flash and fade
the lightning wind and storm
were all inventions I had made
while I was busy being born.
For I have lost a lover
who would kill me where I stand
but found a better friend in me
cause I know who I am.
I set my mind against the tide
as a sailor sets a sail…
I set my mind against the tide
As a sailor sets a sail…..
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Waltz With The Moon
There are grey ghosts arisin
on cold city streets
shadows of souls
beneath the feet.
Of the proud and the humble
the strong and the weak
harlaquin hoboes
that cannot speak.
As the dark angels
singin her song in the night
sellin five dollar fortunes
in red neon light
singin singin
Oh you've got to waltz with the moon sometimes
just to know that the sun's gonna shine.
Cause the bitter and sweet of it often meet
when the sun rolls low in the sky.
When the twilight is neither beginning or end
when the worlds turning round
starting over again
shed a tear for the rose buried half in the snow
and wonder where time goes.
There's and old man a coughin
his words in the air
listening intently
as if someone's there
Who is speaking in riddles
he alone comprehends
Closing his eyes lord
he's flyin again
As the belle of the ball
takes her turn on the floor
twisting in circles
as the crowd yells for more
more more...
Oh you've got to waltz with the moon sometimes
just to know that the sun's gonna shine.
Cause the bitter and sweet of it often meet
when the sun rolls low in the sky.
When the twilight is neither beginning or end
when the worlds turning round
starting over again
shed a tear for the rose buried half in the snow
and wonder where time goes.
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At last I quit the coffin nails, those dreaded cancer sticks.
I yield to them no longer. I shall not require 'a fix'.
My master is not cigarettes. From now on it is me.
Tis I who rule my life and I will live in it smoke free.
Why did I start? It does not matter. Reasons count but one.
There's no good way to justify decisions clearly dumb.
But it was my decision. I admit that to my peers.
And so I smoked the dreaded weed for twenty eight long years!
Did I enjoy a cigarette? Yes there were quite a few.
Especially after food or if I had a drink or two.
But there were many, many more not nice or sweet sublime,
when Mr Nicotine required attention all the time.
In all the years I smoked I was supported by
those who
Because they smoked, like me, enjoyed reciprocation too.
Collusion fed collective myths of social interaction.
The club required participants of 'ciggy satisfaction'.
We had one thing in common (Not withstanding coughs and choking).
The group was barred from many a place by these two words, 'No Smoking'.
I s'pose for those who did not smoke there had to be a club
excluding those whose lives were ruled by smoke and filtered stub.
The smokers often scorned those who did not lay out the cash
to buy some fags, then burn it, turning money into ash.
How could 'non-smokes' appreciate indifference to wealth?
Or understand our cavalier disdain towards our health?
I know. I was that smoker and embraced that dreadful role.
Until it hit me suddenly that I had no control.
My life was run by cigarettes, so firm was my conviction
that something had to change. I had to cast out my addiction.
With patches at the ready and my will power on top.
I picked a day to quit the stick and then I'd simply stop.
And that I did, one Sunday morning, filled with self belief,
which crumbled two hours later as the habit caused me grief.
Was it hard to stop? You betchya! Every single day.
Some minutes seemed like hours till the craving went away.
I conjured up so many good excuses to give in.
But I was so determined that tobacco would not win.
The war raged on inside my head. Withdrawal was no fun.
But I could stop it all with just one cigarette. Just one.
So tempting was the subtle, slimy, wheedling, nagging voice.
And yet I knew that 'just one more' would leave me with no choice.
I had to shut my ears and eyes and mind to that foul creature.
I had to be the student and I had to be the teacher.
I had to practice what I preached. I had to be a bore.
I had to do whatever it would take to smoke no more.
The first day was the worst until the second day became.
The third day was the worst and then the fourth was much the same.
The fifth day? That was not so bad but bad enough to bear
But then I felt the sixth day I had got it beat. So there!
And now a week has passed and I am finally smoke free.
The fog has lifted from my life. T'was worth the agony.
Of course the cravings come and go - and will do for a time
But I'm no longer listening. To start again? A crime!
Already, in a single week, (and smokers you may scoff)
In health and wealth, in self esteem, I find I'm better off.
My life belongs to me again. I must have been so thick
to be a slave to nicotine - that smelly cancer stick!
Of course there's nought that irritates like new reformed non-smokers
They bore you with self righteous statements. Verbal red hot pokers.
I count myself amongst them so my smoker friends beware.
I'll tell you I can smell your smoke in rooms and clothes and hair.
Telling you to stop is not what I would like to do.
The reason that I quit was choice. The same is up to you.
To quit is hard, I don't deny it. Really it's no joke.
But if you can withstand the strain, you'll not return to smoke.
And finally a warning - and I say this in good heart.
If you have never ever smoked - then never ever start.
If you think that it's cool to smoke then just try stopping it.
You'll find it's easier not to start, than smoking is to quit.
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Waltzing Along
Help comes when you need it most,
I'm cured by laughter.
Mood swings,
Not sure I can cope,
My life's in plaster.
May your mind set you free,
May your heart lead you on,
May your mind let you see,
May your heart lead you on.
These wounds are all self-imposed,
Life's no disaster;
All roads lead on to death row,
Who knows what comes after?
May your mind be wide open,
May your heart beat strong,
May your mind’s will be broken,
By this heartfelt song.
May your mind set you free
May your heart lead you on
May your eyes let you see
May your heart lead you on
Lead you on
Set you free
Lead you on
Set you free
May your eyes be opened by the wonderful.
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Addiction Poem
So this is living
I keep my scars hidden behind the bars of this prison
I keep my flaws tucked, right behind my front, sucking up this blunt
I don't give a --
Hey, what's up?
How you been?
Cool man I'm doing me
Chiller than the Artic but burning like a third degree
I'm open like a surgery
I'm searching for a crutch
It's as natural as putting antiseptic on a cut
Heal me
I fiend for my fix
There's a void on the inside
I fill it up with fluff to avoid where my sins lie
I'm talking puppy dogs and ice cream
Caffeine, nicotine, puffing on a pipe dream
Daddy needs a new pair of anything
Maybe you relate
Lay your head upon my pillow, wake up with a clean slate
I thought that if I found out who I was
Away from anything I'd ever tried to use to catch a buzz
I would build a better me
So I did
Delving into all of the hurt I had hid since a kid
Everytime I felt the urge I would hold on
I want to reach the other side, my goal's to be headstrong
When right feels dead wrong
When night feels too long
When life feels too long
When hindsight is blinding and reminding us to hold on
You're not alone
We've all been there together
We're facing the storm because bad weather ain't forever
We're breaking the norm
To see if maybe there is more
But we'll never know until we're on the other side of that door
I don't want to use you for anything
Abuse you for anything
Or lose you to anything
Love is not obsession, there are no strings attached
So I can't love you if I'm like yeah but there's a catch
I want freedom from desire because this moment is real
They speak about courage but they don't own how they feel
I want to scream truth
Just to hear it echo back
I don't need your validation this is truly where I'm at
See this poem is for the lost and the found
Who've been tossed to the ground
Who've been crossed by their friends
Get up stand your ground again
Make your heart the strongest muscle that you've got
Then let it guide you in the dark
Until you reach the other side
Courtesy of IN-Q 2014 and Working On It
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