Hi everyone. I haven't been posting much lately so before I do I want to congratulate all of you on your milestones that have been reached.
Together we are getting there. I know that we all have to work at quitting and it doesn't come easy but the single most important factor in reaching the much deserved and respected place of freedom (from this addiction) is time (beyond your last puff). This is why slipping is so horrible. If we want to be successful in this endeaver we must realize that N.O.P.E. is the key. The rest will come,just let time pass until you reach a place where life can be good again. Better even because we will be smokefree.
This said, I feel the need to vent a little. That's the beauty of this site. We can vent,get support, use up countless hours of our smokefree time, etc., until time passes, our quit meters increase and freedom is one day,one hour, one minute closer.
This past weekend was a killer. My husband and I painted our house(with the help of a friend who smokes),I don't know what cost more,the paint or the beer and cigs. Anyway this said, you can imagine how hard its been. I go from my isolated smokefree zone into..the forbidden zone.. I only had 1 beer as I knew that this was the one thing that could cause me to relapse. I stayed away from the shed as my hubby and his friend took countless smoke breaks. At least they took the smoke out of the house. That is until Sunday... My husband all of a sudden decides that it's o.k. to smoke while standing in our front doorway. I complained rather loudly I might add that this was not okay. He said o.k. and went outside but then did it again an hour later. He kept it up and I felt so deflated. Like He just doesn't care about me and the kids. I never smoked in our house when I was a smoker. How can he possibly think its no big deal?
Then as we were in bad later, he has the audacity to expect me to have sex? I am so angry/disappointed, I tell him that our relationship is on the rocks and unless we start sharing our time and feelings then I cannot be intimate. He is a workaholic too and I told him that I so badly want us to be on the same page and unless he is ready to look at why he smokes (I believe smoking keeps him busy and wrapped up in himself), then how can we move forward in ou
