Hi Red... I am so sorry I did not respond to this post. I don't know how I missed it... but I did :( I didn't realize you had written until you mentioned in on the panic forums. Gosh... I'm sorry you were feeling so badly. From what you have posted elsewhere it sounds like you are feeling somewhat better. I'm so glad you are back here posting. Your description of what you are working on is quite concise and heartfelt. Depression sux. It just so messes up how we see the world and how we feel about ourselves. It's hard to negotiate... but not impossible. I'm not ready to give up either. We'll be ok. Again, it's nice to have you back.