EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Depression
Relationships
Stigma surrounding mental illness

Advanced Search Form

Stigma surrounding mental illness

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 16

---- continued from prior post ----

I have gained a good bit of weight with my back injury + the depression. I am "FLUFFY!"

But, I've never been skinny. And I've never had a problem attracting men.

Until now.

Does MDD give off an odor?

Suggestions would be appreciated!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 16

I took a 6 week medical leave from work at a former employer and when I told him why --

he says, "What are you depressed about?"
Oh sheeeeeesh. Uh... I'm depressed that the grass is green! That I have green eyes! That green is the color of money! Duh!

That was my first experience with the stigma associated with mental illness. It won't be the last.

MDD doesn't make sense to those who are uneducated about it. And I try to remember that. It doesn't make sense to ME most of the time! heh

At first, I kinda kept things on the 'down-low' because I didn't want folks to treat me differently. But as my illness progressed, I felt I needed to explain because my parents and my brother were starting to get mad at me. They were coming down on me hard for not going to church and for being too sensitive, etc, etc.

So..since then, I don't care who knows. I try not to use it as an excuse, I just hope that it helps folks to accept that "Gigi's in bed again."

The last couple of years.. I've suffered the stigma result of lonliness. I have (I promise!) reached out to others to be my friend. I have tried, in spite of what my mother believes. I think people are afraid to be around me. Afraid I might have some kind of "fit" and they'll be stuck with it. Or afraid they'll do or say the wrong thing. Or afraid I'll bring THEM down.

I'm still the crazy silly fun Gigi that I used to be. I just might not be able to get up and do something all the time. Phone calls, cards, emails... how wonderful that would be. Invited to supper. Invited to go to the movies. Invited to anything. Invited... even if I can't make myself go.

I've also had a big disappointment from my church family. I've not been to church in many months now..since I have a hard time leaving home. I've gotten an email from the pastor's wife saying they want me to come back to church and sing for them. I've gotten a card from a person on a committee that is sposed to reach out to members not attending...that said she misses me and the girls at church and wants me to come back and sing for them. That's it.

I mean.. I did appreciate both of the messages, but... well... let's say I've been missing church because of another illness... like --- um --- Lyme disease. Do you think I would have heard from the church folks more than one card and one email? Yup.
I have a set signature on my private email that says something like "Mental Illness: The only sickness for which the church folk do not send a covered dish."

I got it from something a doctor said on a film I was watching. It's sad....but true.

And then there's the DATING thing. I've been divorced... gosh I think going on 6 years now. I've had one 'friend' in all this time, but had to break it off with him because he told me he has some kind of "pee-fettish." (excuse my bluntness) It's not that I was trying to diss him because of this.. it's just that, I have enuff going on with my own crazy self without worrying if he was going to ask me to urinate on him, or something. I just couldn't deal. Sorry to all the fettish folks out there. No offense intended.

But.. anyway... do you think I send out a vibe that says "Do not approach me--I am loony" ?? I know that I am not OUT much but I do go in the grocery store, the library and other stores like that once in a while. I have relatives that could be at least trying to fix me up with somebody they know.

I HAVE gained a good bit of weight with

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 13

My personal experience in 'coming out of the closet' is that sometimes people are more understanding than you might think. I had to tell my managers at work as I've had to take some time off sick. I was really worried about it and thought they wouldn't understand but they've been supportive. One manager shared that he too had time off a few years ago for the same reason and had taken medication. I guess I'm very lucky that that is the case. Of course, I know that not everyone in the office will be so understanding - gossip about being a slacker/always off sick etc. But *maybe* I might find they're more understanding than I think they're going to be - part of being depressed for me is thinking people are more critical of me than I think, and having this shame about being depressed. For all I know some or people they are close to may be suffering too. Of course some won't relate - but they'll be the people I care less about anyway I hope. I'll still worry about it though... I'm debating whether to email everyone just so they know and can stop speculating and asking me why I've been off. I'm think this may be taking it too far? On a personal level, all my friends and family know and are supportive, though have differing ideas and advice! But I've got sick (and I'm sure they have) of always talking about how I am. I really need to do that sometimes but sometimes I'd rather change the channel and get on with my life. I don't want to be pigeonholed as 'depressed'. I'm me and I happen to be depressed (which can mean a lot of different things) but I still have OK days and hopefully I'll beat this. Maybe I still have some accepting to do myself. Or do I? I suppose what I want to say is that to some extent, for me anyway, the stigma can be partly in my own head. It can be pretty risky testing that out though.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

Hi wildcat You do have a wonderful sense of humour :) Tomorrow will never be the same as yesterday, and you don't need to pretend anything. The ignorance of other people is entirely up to them and nothing to do with you, so just let their stares and gossip slide off of you. You'll be the focus of attention just until the next gossip-worthy issue comes up. I know that you were being tongue-in-cheek, but you could leave out material to educate those who would like to be educated -- the others will whisper whatever they like regardless. Be yourself, and leave them to their karma :) It can't be easy, and I feel for you, but by carrying on with your life and work as usual, you're giving the stigma a kick in the butt. Thank you :)

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

hi gang. so this issue surfaces again in my life. I wigged out Thursday at the office and the boss drove me home. So she felt it was time to explain that I am bipolar and that I am changing my medication. My hypomanic moment was a kind of side-effect. Yes the gang knows I am bipolar. They know I am trapped with this illness for the rest of my life and everyday is a surprise. Well it is better that having them in the total dark and going fishing every once in a while. other than my boss there are two others in my department who are NOT friendly with Ms Perfect and her acolite. so ms perfect has been seeing a neutral third person in another department!!! Ms perfect has used the "how long has she been schizophenic"? is she taking... "medication announced on last-nite's favourite show"? and the popular is she being followed by a qualified specialist in osteopathie, psychiatry, oncology...? So my friend up-dated me in the stupid questions ... can you be functional with bipolar disorder? When will the meds fimally make her zombie out? When will she be finished with this once and for all? . . . e t c . . . no wonder I wanted this to be hidden! No wonder it was better to suffer in silence and just end it all sometimes (ignore any emotion). so what do I do now? pretend that tomorrow is the same as yesterday? Ignore their sickly sweet concern and go back to driving them nuts... yes I normally do I like thinks done a certain way and done the proper way - no short cuts - and I am ready to steam-roll-over them all. so what do I do now? leave out a bipolar magazine, or web literature and watch like a patient ornithologist?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 18

I have been depressed for about 5 years now. I have told myself in the last 5 years that I deserve everything that comes my way! It's really hard for me to tell myself it isn't. My mom has suffered with depression her whole life so she knows exactly what I'm going through. She gets mad at me when I tell her I'm a horrible person. I just need to find that voice in my head that sais i'm a good person.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

I have loads of shame about this, too. Up until a week ago, the only people who know are my 2 best friends, my mom, and now 2 "authority" figures in my life. I was having issues with not showing up, being late, not completing work, etc, and decided I had nothing to lose by telling the truth. And they were both very understanding!! AND, shared their own battles. AND, encouraged me to hold on & plow forward. I was not expecting that response! (remember, one of my core assumptions is that I deserve to be punished). It feels great to have released the secret!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi guys, I faced the notion of stima today... we had a meeting and my boss explained to some that the internet is a resource I use to help me get my state steady and it helps me do my work. i paniced! what did you explain? what kind if info did you share? she spoke to those who warned me of those nasty anti-depressants that are sooooo addictive and and render you zombie-like. they warned me to get off them asap!!! I just needed rest, take it cool, don't stree-out, and all will be fine - after talking of my sick-leave as burn-out! How could I say I am bipolar and it is a two pronged illness; the chemical imbalance that needs medicationSSSS and the erronious thinking that needs therapieSSSS. I felt attacked. Now, I am a useless weakling addicted to drugs and being brainwashed by a guru! I was doing well in that confrontational meeting - I am the good girl that is rather wishy-washy so no one has any major issues with me... but watching the others was really tough. And to have this illness be exposed. i was afraid ! afraid of the negativite, the scurtiny, the expectations. I spoke to the boss alone right after. she did not go into details with them... only said the internet was a tool that helped me get through the rough spots that are left over from the sick leave in 2005 burn-out and the left-overs from my leave due to my exploded ankle in feb 2007. i was releaved. no one knows. I do not have to worry about what others think, how they see me and my performance. The stigma is in me and I still need to hide because of it. I hide from myself

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1890

Hi guys, this stigma about mental illness is like it was for cancer 20 yrs ago. Shussshhh! Whisper it only. I remember my mother only mouthing the word to her friends about an acquaintance'- you know what I mean... Now so many people are talking about their MDD state that we're almost at the stage socially where it's no longer a taboo subject to talk about openly. There are always going to be the fearful people who reel-back when you say "Major Depression" like there are still people who freak and get confused and fearful when you talk about cancer even today... I just want to say I'd rather talk to somebody who has experienced MDD than some goof who is "Duh-uh" about such a very human problem. When I rise up from a depression with my SSRIs and some support from serious friends, you know, I feel wiser somehow - I don't try to obscure or dismiss what I've been through; I use it to make me stronger and more aware of the world. I just want to reiterate that MDD is a chemical imbalance we have and I for one do not have the attitude that " Oh, jeez, I must MUST get off these damn pills" Fact is that I crash and crash badly when I stop the SSRIs and I just find it self-destructive to keep on trying to get back to some happy-horsepucky pill-less past that never existed. Sometimes the pharmaceutical industry helps us when it's not busy screwing the Third and Fourth World!!!! I love what Kera7 says - say what you mean and mean what you say and damn the torpedoes! Why ever would one want to be a prevaricator??

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

Hi all. I have a different type of experience going on. I work in a small, family-run office. They're a great family to work for. I really lucked-out. Anyway - the few guys (no other girls, except the boss's daughter part time in the summer) that are in and out of the office have been with me through the worst. And of course, there was just no way of hiding it. I didn't take any time off from work, except for the very occasional sick day, when I just couldn't bear to leave my house. Yup, not a problem, have a hysteric raging panic-attack and melt-down, and still go in. They've been patient, non-judgemental, and supportive. Actually, my work enviornment is very stable, so I'm sure that helped give me a place to calm down. My mom understands. She's been there, done that. My oldest brother died when he was 20yrs. old. I was 13 at the time. Now I'm a mom, too, and can only hope that God does not ask me to bear that pain. My other 2 brothers are very different. The elder one calls every once in a while. Never any pressure, just love. Lets me know he's there for me, and concerned. The youngest brother (but older than me) I guess started to go through his own things. Kinda makes me wonder if he has MDD too. My boyfriend and most friends just don't really understand. I'm trying to explain it a little bit at a time to my boyfriend, but it's gonna take a long time to clean up the damage I've caused in the last year. I'm the type of person that tends to be very up-front. As I say, "you may not like it, but at least you'll know exactly where you stand with me!" But in being open and discussing it, I've found some fellow sufferers out there. Most of whom have been hospitalized for it, so I consider myself lucky to have avoided the hospital or suicide.

Reading this thread:

Evolution Health is not a healthcare provider and does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are currently thinking about or planning to harm yourself or someone else please call 911 or go to the nearest hospital emergency room.

ABOUT

EVIDENCE

CONTACT

PRIVACY

Session Timeout Warning

It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below

You have been logged out due to inactivity.

Please sign back in.

We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.

More Information

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

Stigma surrounding mental illness