Hi everyone,
I just wanted to share an experience with you and people in hospitals. As you know, I lost my hearing to labyrinthitis an inflammation of the vestibular system. I was young at the time and I went for testing where they put me on a table and tuner me upside down . They put water in my ears hot and cold, forced air, and spun me around. All this caused extreme vertigo and at the time, they asked me to count back from 1000 by subtracting sevens, at the time I did not realize the purpose of this exercise. I have found out it is a technique that keeps the patient focussed and from letting anxieties and panic attack during the test to take over. This was my first testing and the people who did it treated me very well as I was still a child. They kept asking me to count and were saying things like good effort and it will not be to long before we finish.
Then I became an adult and went for similar type of testing as above. The same anxieties and panic attacks happened again only this time I was older. Therefore, I was met with anger that this test caused anxiety and panic attack. It seems to me that when you are a child people understand about the torture you are going through but as an adult, you should have full control over your emotions. In a sense, they are right as a child you are less likely to understand what is going on but as an adult, you should know and be able to calm yourself. This statement is half-true, as an adult we have greater insight and therefore, we can work through this program and gain insight that I child could not. However, because this program is here and I have not seen any crayon marks in the post I thinking that most of the people are adults on the site, and were unable until we hit bottom to finally figure out what was going on. This is not a failure or a negative thought it is just reality and from a statistic point of view, there are a considerable amount of adults, which struggle with panic attacks and anxieties.
So in affect I am answering loves trees question about wanting a person to help us through our troubles, for me this thought is apparent because of the way was treated as a child with understanding and compassion about my illness. Which I think I brought forward into adulthood the desire for someone to be compassionate with me and help me through this time of my life. However, I realize this is unrealistic, and as you said, you have to do it yourself. If you think about it if someone helps you through it and then leaves you do not have the tools for keeping yourself better.
On to Davit experience, I do not know if this story helps you but you are treated differently in a hospital when you are an adult, you are supposed to take the pain, not complain about it, and not react emotionally to it. With your family, I have been talking to my Dad about my fears and anxieties and telling him discoveries, I have made. He has OCD so you would think if anyone would understand I would be him. However, he cannot stand me talking to me about fear and anxieties and I think that it is because my fear comes from a core belief that I have identified in myself but my Dad has not. I think this is why it bothers him so much because he does not realize what I am taking about gets to one of his core belief that the has not identified. Therefore, I stop talking to him about anything I am doing because it is met with anger and the suggestion that I should just avoid the situation that causes me so many problems. (One can see where I got the avoidance concept from)
Dizzy
