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One of the things I and Shari did was classify people as either oranges (desirable people) or apples (all the rest) Not necessarily negative but people you had trouble being around. There are a lot of apples and often you have to be an apple to associate with them but never forget that you are an orange and at the beginning and end of the day you want to be and feel like the orange you are.
This said you also want to seek out other oranges for friends and associates. This will keep you from becoming an apple by thinking all the other people are bad instead of just different and undesirable. Stay an orange. There are also bad apples and I picked apple because it rhymes with what so many people are.
I have only positive people for friends but still I associate with others that are not and at the end of the day it can be hard to stay positive. I do my little mantra. "I'm an orange, I will always be an orange". More of my favourite word "perception".
I don't know if it is just me but it is pretty challenging for me to surround myself with positive people. Despite my great desire to do so.
Davit's writings in other threads (most recently the thread I started to discuss the Nov. Ask the Expert question) help me to realize things all the time, and a recent realization I'll share here as it relates to your suggestion to surround ourselves with positive people.
Positive people come by this in one of two ways in my experience.They either are positive because that is how they have been their whole lives or they are positive because they have worked through what they needed to work through in order to become positive.
I will only have the option of being the latter which is fine ,it is better than the 3rd option which is to be a negative person. I am finding it harder and harder to be around negative people lately as I go through this program and work on myself. I am ok with people who are also working on going from negative to positive, but negative people who don't want to do anything to address the negativity honestly make me feel nervous as I work through this program.
In the past we have discussed the fact that saying "negative people" is labeling (which it is). I use it here with the understanding that you used the term "positive people" to identify the importance of positivity (i.e. happiness) within people and not as an attempt to label people because of course in reality from day to day people can have negative and positive moods /feelings / beliefs. But I am assuming what you mean by "positive people" are people who are, on the whole, positive more than half the time.
Anyone else struggling to find "positive people" to socialize with?
Members,
Has an illness, addiction or other left your self-esteem in the gutter? In the weeks to come, we will be exploring various strategies to help rebuild your self-esteem:
• Make a list of all your successes and read it everyday.
• Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. You are who you hang around with.
• Pick a mantra and repeat to yourself every morning and in times of self-doubt
• If you’re struggling in an academic or work-related situation, ask for help! Or do some research; attend a seminar or workshop to increase your competence.
• Seek outside help like a counselor, support group or peer mentor.
Please add your thoughts on rebuilding your self-esteem! More tips to come next week!
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