carnationsL
They are going to have an expert you can ask questions of but till then I have lots of experience with this and I have beat it. I also have access to a therapist and she doesn't cost me anything. You may have some misconceptions of this condition, most people do. I know I did and she straightened me out. You may have the wrong idea about medication. You may have an unrealistic fear of it. With out a lot of knowledge this is a pretty hard thing to beat, not impossible but hard and time consuming with lots of trips down the wrong road. One step forward and two back is pretty good for a person who does not know why, and it is better than having them all backwards. There are some good books but they do no good if you are not in the right state of mind to accept them. Also we get a preconceived way of looking at something and can't accept that it may be wrong. Rhubix (?) invented the cube to teach his students that some times you have to do something in a way that makes no sense till you do it and then it does.
That said, please don't be sorry for anything you print here. We can not prescribe but we can give you are personal experience. Any thing I tell you is on the net and backed up with questions to my therapist. The only people who do not beat this are those who give up. Some need medication so they don't some get by without it. Medication comes down to this. You can take meds so you don't have to do the CBT or you can take meds so you CAN do the CBT.
The difference is that only one way will get you off them. Or you can do nothing and get worse if you do need them.
Sorry if this looks like tough love. But it still is love. I want you to get as good or better than me and will do all I am allowed to do to help you. So will the other members. This can be beat but it will take time and some of that time may need medication. There are examples of refusing meds and quitting meds too soon in the forums and I am sure there will be more examples of both in the future. It is just the nature of the beast.
I do not advocate using meds as a crutch, but they do have there place to get you over the hump. I wish I had a licence and more education so I could do more for you. I really do. Please keep posting, we really do care. Have you looked into allergies? Sometimes as we age we become more sensitive.
Please tell me what you expect to get from this program and what you are willing or have time to do?
Your friend and fellow member.
Davit.
