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Problems with avoidance-Part 2

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Problems with avoidance-Part 2

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 778

Hello there CM , well i would definately say you are a success . Well done for going to your classes . It will get easier you know . But the first time is the hardest . Im so pleased for you .

Joe i love that story , will sooo remember it in the future thank-you .

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

What a wonderful story jhori82!

Thank you for sharing!

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

Aha, thanks Dazed. The mind is a fascinating thing, it can make or break realities. Like a wet soap bar, grip to hard and it slips out, grip too softly and it falls out...and you are definitely not alone!

Oh, and if you want the story that I took that quote from, here it is:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 wolves. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is God. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

(The original story I got it from was a poem, involving angels and demons, but I have no idea where to find it now...)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Ok..lol..

Now I remember where I saw that wonderful quote I like so much...

I think you're the wise person ... We share a lot of similiarities as I like you think I can't fight this anymore. I am who I am. Every once in a bit I waver in believing that but I always bring myself back around and focus on the good stuff. I've handled so many 'REAL' crises that it boggles me that my mind can conjure up thoughts and I'm unable to cope... or wrap myself around them...

thanks for making me feel like I'm not alone :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

Oh damn, Dazed, I'm dazed. That's one of my tendencies that leads to a PA, the unsubstantiated thoughts I've talked about. Things I know aren't possible, but for some reason my mind conjures them up and I feel like it's a real possibility. I'm at the point where I don't care what conjures them up, I'm not giving them the time of day...but it really doesn't stop them. Thats also why in another post I wrote that I accept it's a part of my life, I'm just not going to give it the focus I once did.

A wise person once told me we all have both a angel and a demon inside of us. So I pondered, how do you know which you will become? Their reply, was simply the one that you feed.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Hi Diva

You're so welcome. I have never really been given the official OCD diagnosis but have always been told I have OCD tendencies.. thanks to the obsessions... If that makes any sense. I don't actually know the difference so I just went ahead and learned all I can.

Thoughts can be terrifying can't they.. ugh. Funny thing is my husband has said the only difference is how we process them. Mine create this awful feeling within me but if he has a thought he just lets it go... no stress.. It is what it is..

I always feel if I can even help one person as I've been helped by all of your stories then I've done my part.

Glad to hear about your doctors appointment. Where abouts are you living if you don't mind me asking. We have often thought about moving to Nelson in BC but health care is an issue with our little guy and his heart condition.

If I'm being nosy.. just ignore the question.

Cheers

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

CM,

I agree with DM, this definetely should be in the my success part of the forums! Congratulations! Woohoo!

DM,

OMG, thanks for sharing that about your obsessions and all! I do not think I am OCD, I have been told I have definite tendencies though to obsession and compulsions... But I deal with it well and it generally doesn't affect me too much. But man reading this post still made me feel so much better though. I have thoughts like that sometimes dna they do cause me great anxiety. I try to just let them go and know I won't act on them. But somehow what you said about being afraid to hurt people it really reached me and made me feel understood. As I said I do not have OCD and I am sure my thoughts are far from obsession but they do bother me and create anxiety. I think you are great for sharing that as it makes it easier for others like me to deal with their own pervasive thoughts.!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Hi Caden..

It is a success and should be posted as such! The fact that you got there when you're feeling as you are is a success. Baby steps soon add up to a large step. School can be overwhelming. I actually dropped out when my panic attacks first started happening many years ago... I was 19 and am now 34... I've had many successes since then and lead an amazing life. You will too.

I battle obsessions too... Which are disturbing thoughts that cause anxiety as we know they are disturbing. It's a form of OCD and often goes undiagnosed as anxiety disorders cause terrible thoughts as well. It's the incessant running of these thoughts that make them a bit different.

When I relapsed in January that's what came on full force. They can be terrifying. I've had ones that I imagine hurting my kids. (eek, I hate even writing that down) It is true but I know that I am the most gentle caring Momma who can't even squish a bug...or cry at the drop of a hat if someone is injured but yet I would have these unimaginable thoughts... I was terrified to admit them to anyone. I mean how can a Mom even think of those things??? Did they make me a terrible Mom? With the knowledge I have now and a greater understanding I know that they are just thoughts. I'm not going to act on them and all the energy I was putting into worrying about the thought was eating up my life... You're NOT alone CM and the thoughts are just thoughts.....It's already been said "The very fact that you are aware of this disturbing thought makes you a conscientious person".. The more we fight the thought the more powerful and intense it becomes. You cannot will them away yet to allow them in is terrifying as well. I have learned the less I attach to it the less powerful they become.

I also take medication but a low dose. I take paxil which has a great success with OCD... and for me it's helped immensely. OCD unfortunately does not have the cure rate PD does. It can lie dormant for many years but you need to know it can manifest itself again. Unlike PD it is not a behavioural thing.

Ok.. I'm going on and on and on...

I just noticed a few others are battling the thoughts too... See CM theres a lot of us out there. Knowledge is power... the more you learn about what's happening with you the better you'll feel.

Be patient and understanding with yourself.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Hi Ya All:

I cannot begin to tell everyone how much your words of encouragement have meant to me. Just to know that there are caring people like all of you who can relate to what others are going through is amazing.

I just came back from my 3rd day in class & I have no more classes today. I am still

overwhelmed at times but I still keep going back because I believe in the long run this will be to my benefit.

Who knows if I keep going to classed everyday I will have to post in the success thread.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hiya Cm,

I have been kinda AWOL since Friday noon and find myself reading this thread a bit late in the game. I did want to congratulate you on your efforts. Going to school can be a scary thing but you are facing your fears and that is admirable. Hang in there, you can do this!

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Problems with avoidance-Part 2