Not doing to bad this morning..Feeling a little anxiety below the surface but handling that by paying attention to HALT..which stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired..The idea is to pay attention to how your feeling and to make sure that you attend to your needs. For instance, I have been feeling very tired the last few days so last night I went to be early and got 12 hours sleep..I was a bit stiff from laying in bed that long but mentally my mind feels refreshed this morning. The little bit of anxiety that I have this morning is from pain so I took Tylenol and I am hungry so I am going to have breakfast as soon as I finish this post. Next thing is since I am sore this morning I plan on taking it easy today until I limber up a bit if not than I will find a book to read and let my mind and body rest today..
Now this is positive way of dealing with how I am feeling this morning..Hiding behind a addiction or smoke screen is not. I am moving in a positive forward direction again..
My day was not to bad either. I relaxed and did a little cooking and I am almost through with day one again..So as long as I stick to my guns and find positive ways to deal with my anxiety/panic/ptsd and of course deal with my negative core beliefs as they surface instead of resorting to nasty negative addictive habits. I will be ok..
Well you are in good company since it is so common for people to do what you just did. Ah me it is food I shouldn't have. Some of my friends it's smoking. So today I'm gobbling chocolate but tomorrow I'll climb back on the wagon and head back down the straight and narrow. I expect you will be there too. Steady on, if you weren't strong you wouldn't be trying. Remember my chinese saying, "may you live in interesting times" It leaves a little lee way for me to make mistakes. And I do even when I try not too. Down to my last piece of chocolate. It was good but it is over. And for those of you thinking what is a little chocolate, this was not just a little chocolate. Lord keep me away from the bulk bins.
My anxiety has been laying below the surface for couple of weeks now and I have taken up one of my destructive habits again in a attempt to bury it or deal with it..Kind of self medicating..Not a good idea really..
So starting tomorrow which is here already I be facing my demons and will be working on kicking this nasty habit again..I may not post as much while I am working this all out..but rest assured you will all be in my thoughts daily..
It is longer than Tia Chi but much better. No funny one leg positions. I'm going to spread it out over how many days I need. This is energy flow and pressure points. It's on Dvd so you can put it on hold anytime. He talks you through it and he does the movements mirror image to you so when he says left he does right so you can follow along with out having to think his position. When he moves his right side he says left and you move left in a mirror movement to him. It is so easy to follow. I recommend it and you know me, no hero's. But this is good.
So if you get it from your library, let me know what you think.
Jenn, I'll have to check into the bad fat of dairy. I hope you're better after your operation, since it sounds like the pain isn't helpful.
As for Arthritus Davit, I've had that for decades, but "motion is lotion" they say, and today's brutal cold makes it the perfect Christmas gift for checking for places where I can find heat loss. It was hard to get back to normal temperature this morning, and I was irritated at church, stepping outside to ask mom to ensure she kept an electrical heater on. Her old house loses heat, since it doesn't have much of a thermal envelope. I stopped being self-critical at church, since it's not constructive, as I was regretting so much I coulda shoulda woulda done.
Then talking to my European cousin, he stated he's left his work to care for his mom, which I coulda shoulda woulda done too, but missed another opportunity.
The illusion of perfectionism isn't going to rob me of much more of my life if I can help it. Just wish I didn't eat that spicy pepper/chicken today, but there are down sides to being the official food taster
I was sitting here with a coffee and thinking of years gone by. I was a fairly normal man with a bit more anxiety than was good for me but it didn't stop me from functioning in the world. It was just there and never turned into panic attacks till after an operation. This was some years after I was diagnosed with Arthritis. I thought I was having a heart attack.
The thought in the back of my mind was if a perfectly healthy man in his prime could be shot down with Arthritis then he could probably have a heart attack too. Not a reasonable assumption in a guy with a constant 120/80. But it was there and it was the start of years of worry. Do I have Diabetes, Chronic fatigue, or some weird Cancer. What about my Thyroid?
Always in the background nagging. Scared to go to the doctor cause the news might be bad. Ativan ups and downs sure didn't help. I wish I would have known about CBT years ago. I'm not Diabetic, there is nothing wrong with my Thyroid and all my test indicate I don't have the right numbers for Cancer. I accept that and am back on track with a once a year check. I have Arthritis and Hypertension, accept that and take the meds. If my chest is sore it is 100 to 1 it is likely tight muscles or an Arthritic flare, not my heart. Check my BP in case and adjust meds if needed or just rest. I am not going to have a heart attack and this is not angina. The thought that it could be is a normal thought. I think it and discard it now. This is CBT. And CBT works. Nothing else does.
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