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Anxiety popping its head


12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
justducky.

You sound very good.

Nice positive post. Especially about the realization that it is going to be a long road. Good to be on the road and going down it. You will get there. 

Even the concern about medication is a positive concern. When you look at side effects and withdrawal effects you have to remember that the worst case scenarios are just that. These things probably only happen to people with other physical and mental problems that make them far worse than you but they have to list them. I know this but sometimes they scare me too.
Being on the right medication does make a big difference, even in the same class of medication there are subtle differences that make big differences in how well they work. If you do change, your Doctor should faze out the one you are on and start you on something different at a low dose so you don't really do withdrawal. Even if you are changing class of drugs. Can you accept that a small amount of discomfort now could replace a lot as you go down this road. You have to keep in mind that when you talk to your Doctor he/she has to know every thing that is happening to you so he/she can pick the one designed to work on that specifically. 
Yes your load is fixed and obvious to you. I think your reaction to it is magnified or perhaps just too focused on. Deal with what you can and accept what you can't. You will be surprised what you can deal with if you just accept that that is just how it is, miserable as it is. Like that long road. 
If you had not started on it you would never get down it.
I noticed when I have to resort to valium that I have that lost fuzzy feeling the next day but if I accept it then when it passes I get some quite good days after as long as I don't dwell on the lost time.

Davit.
12 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
JD,
Having siblings and other family with such challenging stresses is a lot for anyone to deal with.
 
I hope the best for you. 
12 years ago 0 66 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Davit and others, thxs for all your tips.  Yesterday was just an awful day.  Anxiety was 8/10 for most of the day.  I took clonazepam last night and this morning, i just feel really out of it and hard to get going at work.  It's abit like I feel abit paralyzed in my mind anyways.  It hit me last night that this is going to be a really long road for me, and I couldn't muster up any positive feelings.  Feels overwhelming and I think I'm stuck in what should I do mode.  Gotta just keep moving along. 
Mind you there are a number of stressors in my life right now: brother has cancer, sister in law had a miscarriage, I have to move, and my to-be roommate cancelled on me.  My reactions are normal?  But my reaction to me anxiety is what is magnified perhaps?
 
Txs for everyones support.
 
P.S.  The other piece that causes me anxiety, is the unknown of the medications.  i don't think I'm on the right meds and I'm scared to change because of withdrawal,etc.
12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
So it is a matter of interpretation. Or definition. 

Davit.


12 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Davit:  To me goals are not a win or lose event.  I don't think it is that black or white, not that "all or nothing" thinking. practically the same as wishes and plans. They are there to remind me and direct where I want to go, what I want to achieve, what I am interested in.  And as Ashley wrote in her post, a great way to review, reassess your progress not so much toward the goal itself, but in yourself, what is important to you now, what have you learned, how have you grown.  Goals can change.  They are not written in cement.  What was important to me a few months ago may not be as important to me this month.  You get a feeling of confidence in yourself, that you are heading the right way, and also keeps you on track.  I have both short-term and long-term goals. Some short-term goals are needed to fulfill the long-term goals.  Such as doing each session in CBT, one at a time, perhaps one session per week.  The long-term goal of this is to finish the program so you can put the pieces of the puzzle together, understand and heal.
 
What happens if I don't achieve a goal?  Not necessarily sadness or guilt, probably disappointment.  I'll have the opportunity to try again if I want to and I could make changes if I wanted to this time around.
 
As for lists, I love 'em!  Nothing like a list with lines drawn through the finished jobs, projects, whatever it is.  Doesn't have to have a time line (unless you're planning something with a fixed date or there's an urgency somewhere).  Just feels good to see the concrete proof that I have progressed and achieved some of the things I wanted to get done. 
 
Hope this explanation answers your interest.
 
Sunny
 
 
12 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
~m,
Job hunting guru N Bolles used to illustrate a planning exercise where one would credit oneself for something done even if it's not on the "to do" list.
 
It made sense later, since our deepest desires are often hidden, but just as important as our conscious and "left-brain" daily exercise with a pencil, coffee or whatever tools we use.
 
~m, you deserve to give yourself all the credit for everything you do and love yourself to death for doing it!
 
12 years ago 0 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
This is one of the most difficult things I've learned here... how to set goals.  Reasonable, realistic... but pushing myself out of my own comfort zone.  I bet it took me about 5 months of trying before I finally started to get it... the importance of breaking things down into the simplest piece.  Phew... it was unbelieveably hard.  Poor Ashley... I kept asking her to give me goals, or tell me exactly how to do it and she just kept asking me questions and more questions... helping me find the way.  Hard work.  Really hard work.

Now, I don't set many... but I think I set good goals that resonate within as something I not only want to do... but surely can. So much confidence has grown in the process.  I consider it a real gift.

On making lists, I used to make long lists of everything I needed to do and then plan to get it all done in a ridiculously small period of time.  I always came up short.  Of course!  Now,  I "cheat"... and create a list of things I have already done... so at the end of the day, I can look at it and feel satisfaction at what was done and then ... I check them all off!  So satisfying!
12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm very interested in peoples goals or more peoples interpretation of goals. Are they physical or mental, and are they flexible or carved in stone? Are they causing more stress than they are curing? I'm not sure I have goals, probably not other than to be better than I am and that one has no time limit on it or a fixed set of things to do to achieve it. I do have plans and wishes but they have a flexible time line. Not rigid. They will get done sometime. I guess they could be called goals. The problem I have with goals is that it is attached to winning and I don't like win or lose situations. Too stressful. Yes there is the joy of winning but if you don't succeed there is also the let down. So goals have to be attainable and realistic. Plans and wishes on the other hand don't have a win/lose component. They have the same feeling of achievement as goals but not the same feeling of loss if they are not achieved. 
The goal is to get better. So is the wish, or plan. Which to use? Some people do very well with goals and lists, I don't. I never make lists other than in my head. I can't since I am easily side tracked. Still if I have a productive day I am happy. I would not be if I had a list of things to do and didn't follow it. I would feel like a failure where as if I have a mental list of things I'd like to do and I get some done then I feel like a winner. 
Here again it is all about what makes me feel positive rather than negative.
Still no matter what you call it you have to have something for direction so you don't become stagnant and get nowhere. Keep in mind the goal is to get better, everything along the way is just steps. As long as you are going forward there is no failure even if you do not always achieve what you wanted no matter what you call it. So if you are going to set goals, it is better to set ones with no time lines.

Just my thought on this, feel free to argue with me. I'm curious as to what you think of goals.

Davit.
12 years ago 0 11213 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi justducky,
 
Sorry you are not having a good day.  It sounds like a very frustrating and constraining situation. Let's re-examine your goals to try to get to the root of the problem.
 
What about the goals that you set for yourself were important to you?
What motivated you to set them in the first place?
If you did achieve these goals how would this serve you today? This week? This year?
 
Let's start there!  It's times like this that are great opportunities for learning. I know right now you probably just rolled your eyes. But it's true!  We will get there together.
 
 
 


Ashley, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 66 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
 
Thanks David, had me a pity party with whine and cheese last night.... and helped a friend study for her exams.
 
Its funny, I'm not anxious this morning, but I don't have to work and I don't know what to do with myself.  It's strange.  I'm scared of doing things, activities and continuing to feel withdrawn and disconnected.  I guess then I'll have to except that I'm depressed.  Why do I obsess so much over my anxiety and depression?
 
This week I wrote in my journal that I would work out 3 days a week, meditate daily or do deep breathing, and journal.  So far I worked out once and only one day of deep breathing over the past 3 days.  I'm just sick of doing these things.  I don't feel good half accomplishing a goal.  But deep down I feel that even if I accomplish this goal, I won't feel good about myself.  It's just exhausting.  I hate thinking this way, I feel like such a loser!  I know I'm not, but I feel stuck.
 
rainy day ducky
 
PS.  Maybe I just think about these things more than other people do.  And thats what's tiring, always having to redirect myself and not focus on my feelings and thoughts.

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