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20 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Pam Thanks for the note. I asked a spouse of a cancer survior if the guilt I feel was normal. He said it was perfectly normal.I feel like I should have the cancer and not my wife she does not deserve it.

20 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

runner, that makes perfect sense to me. You feel you can only focus on one thing right now. Don't overwhelm yourself by thinking that you need to force yourself to handle everything during this time. Taking care of your wife and being there for her should be your main priority. I know you are worrying that you should go back to work and you should do this and do that, and you probably have alot of people telling you to do different things. But you know what you can handle , so don't feel guilty about your decision to focus on your wife and getting her and yourself well.

20 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

kitcat and Pam Thankyou for the note.I feel so frustrated about the way I feel. I am torn between my wife and school I canot focus on school until I know my wife is better. Does that make sence to anyone?

20 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

Hey runner it was great to hear from you and I'm happy to hear that the depression is lifting a little. You know, it's ok for you to be depressed and anxious during this time. Anyone would have a hard time coping when someone close to them is going thru what your wife is going thru. Just try to not let it consume you. Keep up with your therapy, we can't take the focus off of your wife because she needs all of the support that she can get right now, but if you're not well mentally then you won't be able to help her. So make sure you take time for yourself and keep on talking to others about how you feel so that you will be able to be strong for your wife. Life deals us some really awful things sometimes and at those times it is helpful to live in the moment and not get caught up in regretting the past and fearing the future. Just take everything one moment at a time and try not to overwhelm yourself, we are always here whenever you need anything ,all of us on here no exactly how you feel and we are going to be here for you. You and your family are in my prayers, hope to hear back soon! Pam

20 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Kitcat and Pam My wife had her exam and Pet screaning she was A little weak. We should know in about two days.The chemo starts next.I have been alittle more active the depression is lifting. Please drop me A line.

20 years ago 0 +0 / -0 215

Aw Runner Just do what you need to do, one step at a time. Be there for your wife!! Take care of you and her.... It's all we can do... Hugs to you and her!! Let us know how things go.... :)

20 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Pamela and Kitcat Sorry I have not written but I have been busy. The school system has been creating a few probems for me. I have to get my extended leave reapproved by a doctor. They do not want me back until I am one hundred percent.My wife is going to need chemo therapy. She is going to have to drive 30 mmmmmiles all by herself with all those chemicals in her. I canot let her do that. So I am going to explain this to him and then get him to sign my extended leave form for the rest of the year because I do not know how sick she is going to get.

20 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

53runner, I'll be praying for your wife, and I have faith that everything will be just fine. Things happen in life for a reason and God is not going to give us anymore than we can bare. If you feel like your not ready to go back to school on Monday, then maybe you are taking things to quickly. Are you using any methods at home to help you with your depression and anxiety? Therapy with a doctor is very important, but because we can't spend all day ,everyday in the doctors office, it's very important that you do something at home to retrain your mind.I know when my anxiety and OCD was really bad, I would have to read and re-read the same things over and over all day. when your mind is so consumed with the fear and dread it can't seem to absorb anything positive so you have to keep putting the positive information in there. Are you doing the panic program? It is very helpful and there are alot of other self help programs out there that you can try. Just don't give up, you've got to be determined to beat it, the more determined you are then the faster you will get well.

20 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Pamela and Kitcat Sorry I have not written but my wife has to have a Pet scan on Friday.Thi is to determine if their is any cancer left in her body. She then has to go thru chemo therapy. She has the cancer and I have the depression.I was planning to go to school on Monday but I just canot seem to do it. I do not know if it is school bothering me or the cancer? I sure have towork at being positive today. Talking to kitcat and you helps.

20 years ago 0 +0 / -0 183

runner, I've just been reading thru your posts and noticed that you said you were having a bad day today. Mind if I ask what happened to make today different from yesterday? Did you just feel this way when you woke up or did you think about something that brought it on. Also, I am feeling much better since I began a new program you can check it out at www.stresscenter.com Kitcat, I was wondering how the linden method is working for you? I read thru the 9 pillars you sent me and it sounds interesting, but I found another program that seems to suit me a little better. It was great to see you here again I somehow missed this thread of conversation and I hadn't noticed any posts from you so I figured you were cured and had abandoned us ;)

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