Hi Valerie.
I do phone support so there must be some one in the area where you live that does this. There is also a crisis line but some times it is not set up to deal with panic, they are more geared to suicide. Your hospital should be able to give you a number to call. When I was very bad the nurse on duty used to talk me down while I waited for my medication to work, (about 15 minutes) but this is a small hospital and all the nurses knew what I was going through. I have been through what you are going through, and I know for a while my file said hypochondriac. It might still. So now I want to give back the help I got.
If you are not able to have an ultrasound to look for blood clots, could you get permission from your doctor to take aspirin to thin your blood and prevent them. It is pretty harmless as long as you take it with food. Ultrasound takes about five minutes and entails finding a vein and pushing on it to see if it flattens. If it doesn't flatten then it is a clot. That simple. Heparin shots twice a day in the stomach are one of the treatments the other is warferin.
Now about this flight you have to take. First, I presume you are going with some one who can help you get on and off. This is one of the situations that Ativan is meant for. Ativan and Gravol will get you through the flight. taken a half hour before flying. This is the combination that they use when medivacing people. Been there. Being shoved in a plane on a stretcher is scary, this combination worked for me. If you can't sleep through the flight, then arm curls with a bottle of water or pop will keep the circulation up and if you count it will work as a distraction. I do this also when I have to drive a long ways.
Since you have to pay for a therapist you must be in the US. The alternative is to bring your concerns here. It won't be as good as an hour long session with a therapist, but there are people here who have gone through what you are and can tell you what they do. Meds? Definitely. I don't think you are thinking clear enough right now to deal with this without them. Consider them as temporary till you get better. The program works but you have to be able to think clearly enough to absorb it.
Going for a walk where you can be alone and cry, is a great stress reliever. I still do it when the load gets to much to handle. And yes I am a man. We have the ability to cry for good reason. Don't be afraid to bring your concerns here. We are here to help and no one will ridicule.
Happy Easter.
Davit
