My BD passed last week, and it was actually tranquil. I baked a cake, and was content.
Maybe the grumpiness I feel is related to a lot of things, outside of sleep. It is one of them. Last night I was up, and "suddenly" couldn't sleep, although I was dog tired. I don't deal well with loss, and there's been many.
And I just realized the pharmacy didn't give complete directions for medicine. I seem to be off my game. Normally I would have spoken to the pharmacist, for full instructions, but I felt disoriented all day, from irregular sleep. And then the Tai chi classroom was cold again. I think I've had it with that class. I promised myself before I wouldn't take a class in that room, but I didn't know the location of the class, and didn't realized that particular room would be used.
Overall, I don't seem to have the vitality I used to have, on one level, but do seem to have so many more resources, such as poise. I was able to carry on a conversation with the docs, although I was at the end of my rope by the seventh hour, but I hadn't eaten much. Then again, who wants to leave a family member in a large urban hospital alone? I chanced it anyway, since I needed nourishment, for the shortest time possible.
How these docs work long hours isn't understandable, but then I did shift work for most of my life, and have the apnea to show for it.
I'll try sleeping and see if I'm less grumpy in the morning. What I'm aware of is the "need" to direct my anger outwards, but I have to find appropriate channels.
